I have to admit that initially I wasn’t a big fan of “stoner rock.” For years, most of it sounded like rehashed Black Sabbath gumbo to me. But, as bands like High on Fire, sHEAVY and Queens of the Stone Age slowly began to evolve the art form, unique bands have begun to break the stereotypical mold and step away from the crowd. By mixing equal parts of southern rock, stoner rock, doom and old-school thrash, The Sword is one of those bands redefining the genre — or perhaps making their own.

The Austin, Texas band’s sophomore effort, titled “Gods of the Earth,” mixes all of styles evenly into one big dirty headbanging collection. The production reeks of denim and sweaty wristbands, and J.D. Cronise’s guitarwork is a tribute to fuzzy power chords throughout the ages. Unlike many other stoner rock acts confined to a lumbering pace, The Sword picks up the pace from time to time with randomly sprinkled trashy riffs, keeping the package interesting and memorable.

Lyrically, the band keeps one foot deeply planted in Black Sabbath’s backyard, the other in H.P. Lovecraft’s grave. From Stygian visions to the River Styx, no creepy mythological reference goes untouched. Hell, track two is called “Frost-Giant’s Daughter.” That should pretty much tell you what’s in store for you.

Through a combination of memorable riffs, raw production, and a musical image that delicately balances “tribute” and “parody,” Gods of the Earth hits harder than a two-handed broadsword smashing into an Orc’s skull. Recommended to anyone who listened to Kyuss, played Dungeons and Dragons, or drove a Camaro.

01. Sundering
02. Frost-Giant’s Daughter
03. How Heavy This Axe
04. Lords
05. Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians
06. To Take the Black
07. Maiden, Mother & Crone
08. Under the Boughs
09. Black River
10. White Sea

If you want to know what kind of heavy music the kids in high school are listening to this week, you need not venture further than the latest action movie soundtrack. Despite the fact that MTV continues to fill its days with rap and reality programming, soundtracks like The Punisher show what kids really want to hear — rock and roll.

Unfortunately, lots of what they want to hear is really bad, generic rock and roll. I don’t know if Gloomchen coined the phrase “Puddle of NickelCreed”, but the shoe fits much of this disc. In fact, the first three tracks are from Drowning Pool, Puddle of Mudd, and Nickelback. Edgewater, Trapt, Finger Eleven and Submursed didn’t fall far from the tree and fit right in without missing a click-tracked beat.

I don’t know much about the Punisher character himself other than it’s cool to stick his logo on your skateboard, t-shirt, or back of your car because “OMG SKULLZ R SC4RY OMG WTF!!!???@?!”, but if his character is anything like this album, after he’s done hanging around with high school kids jamming to their music in the parking lot he pulls out an acoustic guitar, lights up a fatty and teaches them some John Denver inspired licks. At least I know where he got his name from now; after listening to a couple of these acoustic tracks you will feel punished too.

Once the school kids have been safely tucked into bed and kissed goodnight, the Punisher can finally start shooting people with Damageplan (featuring Jerry Cantrell), Hatebreed and Seether rocking in the background.

The rest of the songs sound like a round of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”. Drowning Pool’s track, “Step Up”, is the first track to be released with their new singer — however, the new singer also appears on “The End Has Come”, working with Ben Moody, HIS first track since leaving Evanescence. Amy Lee, the other half of Evanescense, ALSO appears, working with Seether. There’s also quite possibly the last Queens of the Stone Age song (“Never Say Never”) and, as previously mentioned, Damageplan’s collaboration with Jerry Cantrell. It’s the one track I actually wanted to hear a second time, and comes off like a Pantera track with Jerry Cantrell on vocals. Like Audioslave, it’s a sound that doesn’t sound good on paper but comes off okay through the speakers.

Most of the songs on the soundtrack are unreleased tracks, but in a time where most bands sound alike it doesn’t much matter. There sure seems to be a lot of trivia and turmoil involved in the bands that appear on the Punisher soundtrack, but the music doesn’t back up that excitement or energy.

“There ain’t enough holy water in this world to cleanse me” – The Project Hate.

There is beauty in opposition, a secret The Project Hate has discovered. Vicious, guttural growls meld with soft, angelic vocals. Intense drums crumble into eletronic dance beats. A gnarled, distorted guitar track plays alongside keyboards. On paper, none of these things would work this well together. Somehow here, it does.

Hate, Dominate, Congregate, Eliminate is the fourth album from the Swedish band The Project Hate, and their most musically advanced to date. The Project Hate’s sound has evolved in something almost unclassifiable. One moment, the band is as heavy as heavy gets; machine-gun kick drums, violent guitars, screaming vocals, you name it. The next, they’ve shifted into electronica, with guitars trading punches with dance beats. A few moments later they’ve switched gears again; this time, it’s a vintage piano sound, with soothing female vocals layered on top. Unlike franticly paced bands like Mr. Bungle or Dog Fashion Disco, the song changes found here dissolve slowly, methodically, and logically. The shortest track is just over seven minutes long; the longest is over twelve. That gives each track plenty of time to breath and grow. These aren’t just songs — they’re journeys.

The band’s punishing sound is surpassed by their brutal lyrics. If you thought “I Smell Like Jesus… Dead” from the band’s When We Are Done Your Flesh Will Be Ours album was savage, get ready for a whole new level of darkness. HDCE deals almost exclusively with the battle between Heaven and Hell, and TPH leaves no question about which side they’re on. “Burn, weak one, burn / Now I am god / There´s no return / Once you´ve tasted My blood / Demons lined up / Grant angels Hate / Dominate, Congregate / It´s time to Eliminate.” Most of the lyrics are growled low enough that it’s tough to catch them the first time around, but reading along with the lyrics will send shivers up your spine.

Production on HDCE is impeccable. Jörgen (Grave/Entombed) Sandström’s screams perfectly express the pain and hate found within the lyrics. The dual guitar attack by Petter (2 Ton Predator) Freed and Lord K. (Leukemia/House of Usher/Lame) Philipson presents one of the most wonderfully crunchy guitar sounds ever. The real genius comes in Philipson’s other contributions — the programming of all drums and keyboards on the album. TPH’s drums sound more “real” than half the bands with real drummers out there. The quartet is rounded out by Jo Enckell, who provides enough relief with her heavenly vocals to keep TPH from boiling over.

At 70+ minutes, the album feels twice that length with all the changes found within. First time listeners might find the album somewhat overwhelming, due to the long song lengths and lack of sonic variety between tracks. Other than that, the album borders on perfection — a fact Lord K will be reiterate on any of the many forums he visits (including ours). Those looking to mix a little Heaven with a whole lotta Hell should definitely check out The Project Hate’s latest opus.

I’ve been a fan of the Cars for a long time (Shake It Up was one of the first 45s I ever purchased as a kid) so I was both interested and hesitant about picking up It’s Alive by The New Cars, a new incarnation of the band.

The Cars were originally formed by Ben Orr (bass) and Ric Ocasek (guitar), with the two of them sharing vocal duties. Ben Orr passed away in 2000 and Ocasek declined to be a member of The New Cars. Instead, The New Cars puts Todd Rundgren behind the mic, with friends Kasim Sulton (bass) and Prairie Prince (drums) joining him. Original members Elliot Easton (guitar) and Greg Hawkes (keyboards) tag along for the ride, but a quick number check shows that The New Cars are only 40% of the old Cars.

Considering the weirdness of the whole thing, The New Cars actually pull off a pretty good show. Rundgren does impressive impersonations of both Orr and Ocasek, well enough to make me do a double take and make sure neither of them were involved in the album (which would be amazing since Orr is dead). Easton and Hawkes hold together the band’s old sound and provide their familiar backing vocal harmonies, making The New Cars sound a lot more like the original band than they probably should.

Material on It’s Alive is pulled from three sources. Along with original Cars classics like Just What I Needed, Let’s Go and Shake It Up, there are also a couple of Todd Rundgren solo tracks (which must’ve been included solely for the purpose of appeasing people who came to see him in concert) and a few new Cars tracks. The band is currently working on a full length studio album. The new songs are passable; they’re written in the old band’s style and fit well with the rest of the material.

Usually the departure of a lead singer means the death of a band, and in The New Cars Rundgren attempts to replace two famous ones. The results aren’t bad, if you can get over the whole mental part about them most likely doing this for some quick cash.

01. Just What I Needed
02. Let’s Go
03. Candy-O
04. You Might Think
05. My Best Friend’s Girl
06. I Saw The Light
07. You’re All I’ve Got Tonight
08. Not Tonight
09. Drive
10. Moving In Stereo
11. Shake It Up
12. Dangerous Type
13. Bye Bye Love
14. Open My Eyes
15. Good Times Roll
16. Not Tonight (Studio)
17. Warm (Studio)
18. More (Studio)

As far as I can tell, the official Texas Chainsaw Massacre Soundtrack has very little in common with the recently released movie of the same name. I don’t remember any of these songs from the film itself, and unlike many soundtracks, there are no samples from the movie on the CD. Other than the title and the cover photo, this CD is basically unrelated to the film.

With that disclaimer out of the way, I can now officially recommend this CD guilt-free.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Soundtrack, which might as well have been called “Random Songs by Heavy Bands,” is a nice “sampler disc” featuring some of the harder popular bands of today.

I’ve never been against reviewing “popular music”. My personal theory is that you can lure people in with reviews of mainstream tunes, and then slip some under the radar bands their way on their way out. This CD does the exact same thing; sure, mallrats will come running when they hear band names like Mushroomhead and Static-X are on the disc, but a few tracks later Meshuggah and Morbid Angel are waiting in the midst to abuse their precious ears.

As far as soundtracks go, Texas Chainsaw Massacre Soundtrack gives you a decent bang for your buck. With eighteen different bands performing eighteen different tracks (several of them previously unreleased or remixed), it’s definitely worth owning. The album’s roster of bands speaks for itself — a quick scan of the track listing will tell you if this CD is for you.

If you’re a fan of some of the bands on this CD and aren’t familiar with the others, drop the ten bucks and pick this up. Those post office employees got it all wrong. Crank this CD up, show up to work with a chainsaw, and show those other losers just who’s in charge.

Tracks:
01. Pantera – Immortally Insane (New Remix Not Available In US)
02. Hatebreed Below The Bottom
03. Soil – Pride (New Track)
04. Static-X – Deliver Me (New Track to Be Used As a Future B-Side)
05. Mushroomhead – 43
06. Seether – Pig
07. Nothingface – Down In Flames (Previously Unavailable)
08. 40 Below Summer – Self Medicate
09. Motograter – Suffocate
10. Shadows Fall – Destroyer Of Senses
11. Meshuggah – Rational Gaze
12. Fear Factory – Archetype (Remixed For This Record)
13. Morbid Angel – Enshrined By Grace
14. Index Case – Listen
15. Finger Eleven – Stay In Shadow
16. Lamb Of God – Ruin
17. Sworn Enemy – As Real As It Gets
18. Core-Tez – 5 Months

Train wrecks. The World’s Scariest Police Chases. When Animals Attack. Faces of Death, One through Six, including the best of tape. I have an unquenchable thirst for the sick, the twisted, the morose, for experiencing the horrors of all mankind – which is the only possible explanation I have for wanting to hear this disc.

There’s a fairly narrow target audience for this CD. Listeners would have to like both nu metal bands and old school rap, and I probably sit directly in the center of this demographic bull’s eye. Even though I’m a big metalhead now, I spent many hours cruising around with old school LL Cool J, Beastie Boys, and Ice-T tapes in my car back in the day.

At least two of the tracks on Take A Bite Outta Rhyme have appeared on different albums. The Bloodhound Gang’s rendition of “It’s Tricky” and Dynamite Hack’s acoustic/folk version of “Boyz-N-The-Hood” both made it into MTV rotation, and may have been the inspiration for the rest of the album. What’s left is a hodge podge of hits and misses. To truly appreciate each song, you need to (A) like the performing band, and (B) know the original song. Unless you’re a big fan of both genres, this isn’t going to happen too often.

Rarely do I go through and comment on each song of an album for a review, but since these songs are so different I thought, what the heck, why not?

01 – Bring the Noise – Staind
If you can’t improve on the original, why do it? Staind changes the riff but keeps the lyrics in their version, and adds a heavy ending.

02 – Going Back to Cali – Sevendust
The synthesised trumpet at the beginning is truly, truly weak, but Sevendust ends up pulling out one of the best songs on the disc. Heaviness mixed with a good sense of humor.

03 – Sucker M.C.’s – Lordz of Brooklyn w/ Everlast & Stoned Soul
Un-Forgettable — without the “Un”.

04 – Boyz-N-The-Hood – Dynamite Hack
You’ve probably already seen this yuppieish version of the Eazy-E classic on MTV. More of a novelty song than anything; Dynamite Hack’s album is much better than this single.

05 – Posse on Broadway – Insane Clown Posse
ICP never pass up an opportunity to offend, and their rendition of Posse On Broadway is no exception. The clowns of rap (literally) rework the words of this classic to include a lot more four letter ones. The music sounds just like the original, so it’s more like clown karaoke.

06 – It’s Tricky – Bloodhound Gang
From The Bloodhound Gang’s CD “One Fierce Beer Coaster”. A classic cover version of a classic song.

07 – My Mind Playin’ Tricks on Me – Kottonmouth Kings
Not one of my favorite old school rap songs, but the Kottonmouth Kings do it justice. Pretty faithful to the original, but with real drums.

08 – Microphone Fiend – Fun Lovin’ Criminals
When I read the liner I was like, “oh no. Please do not let the same people who recorded ‘Scooby Snacks’ ruin this rap classic.” Fortunately, FLC does the song justice with a faithful remake of the classic, even down to the cool, breath-heavy lyrics.

09 – New Jack Hustler – Dope
Sounds a little too nu-metal for me. Dope tries, but Ice-T’s little pinky packs more attitude than this whole band.

10 – White Lines (Don’t Do It) – Driver
Uh, who? I’m not familiar with the band OR the original, but the song is semi-enjoyable. The most annoying thing is that DJ scratching on top of the music. A true DJ is PART of the band, not just plopped down on top of the final mix.

11 – Bring the Pain – Mindless Self Indulgence
Dear lord this song is so unlistenable. It’s like they found out how to make audio loops, made 200 of them, and decided to use them all in one song. Sounds like Static-X on crack – and no, that’s not a good thing.

12 – Insane in the Brain – Factory 81
How anything that came out after I graduated high school could be considered “old school” rap is beyond me. Another example of a song that didn’t really need remaking. Cypress Hill’s annoying “screech” samples have been replaced by annoying guitar wah pedal noises. That’s not an improvement.

13 – The Tribute – Nonpoint
Even though I kind of slammed Nonpoint’s CD in their review, this song is pretty heavy. “The Tribute” is a medley of several old rap songs, most of which I didn’t recognize. Props to the guys for throwing in a little Slick Rick “Bedtime Story” in there somewhere.

14 – Curly G (Bamm!) – Jerky Boys
This is just a short skit where the Jerky Boys act like they’re a rapper, call a record store, and harass the poor people working there. In between each sentence he yells out “BAMMMMMMMM!”. I didn’t think it was that funny, but for a week after hearing this CD I went around shouting “BAMMMMMMM!” at people too so maybe it was.

Summary
If you are just a fan of old school rap, avoid this album. If you are just a fan of nu-metal, avoid this album. If, however, you’ve dabbled in both worlds and recognize most of the songs and bands on the disc, you might want to pick it up – from a used bin, perhaps.

The CD reminded me (in spirit) of the old Saturday Morning Cartoon Theme Songs CD that came out a few years ago. Once the novelty of the whole thing wore off, who wanted to drive around listening to Matthew Sweet singing, “Scooby-Doo”, Sublime singing “Hong Kong Phooie,” or Dig doing the “Fat Albert” theme? Sure, it was funny a couple of listenings, but once the novelty wears off, there’s not much left. I felt the same way about Take A Bite Outta Rhyme. The first time you hear Sevendust scream, “I’M GOING BACK TO CALI!!!” you’ll laugh too, but after two or three listenings, where’s the love?

As with most tribute albums, the best thing about this disc is it made me go pull my old cassettes out of the garage and listen to the originals.

At parties, I’m usually known as “the funny guy”. I was voted “best sense of humor” in my high school class. I own every album Weird Al has ever put out, including compilation albums filled with tracks I already own AND his 4 CD box set. This is why I was totally caught off guard and honestly a little offended when a certain band I recently reviewed (whose name I refuse to mention any longer) said I had “no sense of humor”. I know funny when I hear it. They just weren’t funny.

The Sweatpant Boners are funny. Not in a juvenile, 1st grader “poo-poo pee-pee” kind of way, but in a Tenacious D, Bloodhound Gang, Dead Milkmen kind of way.

The opening track, “Save Your Virginity (Til We Get To Your Town)”, sets the pace for the entire album. “It doesn’t matter if you got braces, just don’t smile when the cops are around, save that virginity ’til we come to your town.” That’s comedy. Most of the songs on the album are one joke wonders, but the jokes work and the songs have enough funny lines to keep everything moving along nicely.

“Her Respectable Holes” is about a chick who lets guys fill her “respectable holes” when the world gets mean and cold. Her “respectable holes”, according to the song, are “her mouth, down south, but not in that garbage hole”. Each song has subtle little lines thrown in that made me laugh out loud. The line in this song was, “she … loves me. I … know her name.”

“Number 2” talks about a special little rumbling in the tummy the Sweatpant Boners experienced shortly after eating Chinese food. A more serious family bonding issue is explored in “Pee With Your Father”. “Shower Games” covers the many games most guys play in the shower but few would admit to. (Squeezing your nutsack to make it look like a little brain is just one of the many activities discussed.)

Obviously fans of the genre, the Sweatpant Boners poke fun at music itself in several songs. “Fire! (Acoustic Death Metal)” is a hilarious poke at black metal lyrics (“Wizards, up in castles, casting spooooky spells …”). “Singing Heavy Metal With A Mouth Full Of Cereal” is fairly self-explanitory. More wizardry is discussed in the closing track, “The Label Wanted 11 Tracks”.

The final two songs are hilarious reworkings of classic tunes. The first is “Always A Woman” by Billy Joel — you remember, “… she lies like a thief, but she’s always a woman to me.” Here are the first two verses, as redone by the Sweatpant Boners:

“She’ll call you Enrique when you’re under the covers,
She’ll grab your crotch in front of your mother,
and her red rapid river seems to last for weeks,
Yeah she might be your sister but she’s always a woman to me.”

“She’ll get you real drunk and put fruit up your ass,
She’ll make you go down on her even if it’s not a rash,
She’ll start making out with you in the middle of mass, Christ, Jesus,
Yeah she’s only thirteen but she’s always a woman to me.”

I laughed when I heard it, I laughed when I typed it, and I’m laughing again now.

The other send up on the disc is a reworking of the classic Gloria Gaynor song, “I Will Survive.” I won’t give away the whole song, but one of my favorite lines is, “… And I spent oh so many nights, wacking off to animal porn, I used to wack … but now I’m gonna get you back.”

Musically, the Sweatpant Boners play hard. Ok, I just couldn’t avoid that joke. Seriously though, these guys deliver the package. Hah, get it? Their package? God, I kill me. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that these guys back up their funny songs with some decent music. The songs are written poppy with good hooks, and you’ll soon find yourself wandering around the office humming the tune to “Pee With Your Father”. I know I did. Production on the album is surprisingly well done as well. Normally you wouldn’t expect a lot of quality from a band like this, but they did a nice job on the recording. Many of the songs have acoustic guitars in them which sound really clean in the recording. The bass has nice tone, the non-distorted electric guitars are clean, and the distorted ones hit with a good punch. The drums have a bit of direction in the cymbals and just enough “oomph”. All of this comes together in the song “Shower Games”. I can’t believe I’m discussing the quality of the music in a song that contains the line, “I’ll take the shampoo and I’ll lather up my pubes and I’ll pretend it’s snowing in my forest.” Musically, the songs range back and forth between acoustic numbers and rockin’ performances.

The band sounds like they had a good time recording this. (Although not too good of a time, apparently. Since the recording of the disc, the band has kicked out the guitarist … and the bassist, and the drummer.) But, it SOUNDS like they had fun, I had fun listening to it, and you will too. Head over to the band’s website and listen to a couple of sample tracks, then buy this shit. It’s $9 well spent, and a nice break from all the gloom and doom we subject ourselves to around here on a regular basis.

Plus, it’s funny.

01. Save Your Virginity (Til We Get To Your Town)
02. Banana
03. Her Respectable Holes
04. Number 2
05. Pee With Your Father
06. Shower Games
07. Fire! (Acoustical Death Metal)
08. Singing Heavy Metal With A Mouth Full Of Cereal
09. Always A Woman
10. I Will Survive
11. The Label Wanted 11 Tracks

Swarm of the Lotus reminds me of an Army seargent, yelling at his recruits for the first time. Maybe it’s because I accidentally left the stereo in my car turned up too loud, but when I slid White White Becomes Black in for the first time I actually jumped when the first track erupted into my car.

Hailing from Baltimore, Swarm of the Lotus’s debut disc is the definition of “intense”. Metalcore to the bone, tracks like “Committed to Ash”, “Seeng Truth” and “Burn Autumn Burn” explode with pain and anger. I don’t know why I should single those three tracks out; none of the eleven sounds found within could be mistaken for easy-listening ballads.

White White Becomes Black reminds me of Neurosis, without all the build up. Where a Neurosis song might be ten minutes, with eight minutes of build up followed by two minutes of fury, Swarm of the Lotus skips the build up and gets right to the fury. Most of the songs on the album don’t have discernable beginnings or endings (or choruses, for that matter). Tracks like “Cherry Chocolate Salamander” and “Episode Infinity” both begin and end with a bang.

White White Becomes Black is very relentless. Maybe it’s because my son is a member of the “terrible two’s” club, but after a while I just began tuning the disc out due to sensory overload. Much like those first day Army recruits, after being yelled at for half an hour it all began running together.

Violent, aggressive, and very very intense, Swarm of the Lotus’ debut album is the sonic equivalent of an hour long tornado. While it may take you a couple of listenings to make it through the entire disc, the payoff makes it all worth while. White White Becomes Black is bottled up east coast aggression, pure and simple.

After listening to Unlimited, I was glad I’m not the only one who still loves the 80’s. On the Norweigan band’s third album, Susperia has taken a new approach on an old genre — 80’s thrash metal.

Although the first forty-five seconds of the opening track “Chemisty” have a black metal feel to them, once the song kicks in it’s all old school thrash. Many of the songs share that style — black metal intros tacked onto pure power metal tunes. Fans of Testament, Overkill, Exodus and possibly even Pantera will get a kick out of the album’s interesting blend of genres. Traces of black metal can still be heard for sure (mostly in the guitar tones and the super clean production), but the song structures are definitely a tribute to that great, lost era. In fact, there isn’t a hint of black metal in the vocals at all — vocalist Athera’s style completely fits the genre, offering a mix of both clean vocals and throaty howls. Athera even pulls off some Judas Priest’ish screams near the end of “Years of Infinity” that old schoolers are sure to enjoy.

Unlimited’s ten tracks clock in at around 45 minutes. Every track contains that mixture of a little black metal and a whole lotta thrash. Tracks like “Devil May Care”, “Home Sweet Hell” and “Beast by Design” are some of the best, showing that the band may be using an older style, but the ideas contained within are new and fresh.

Unlimited is a fresh take and a new idea, and certainly a great album. There’s just enough black metal parts sprinkled throughout the disc’s ten songs to give fans of the genre a smile, but not enough to scare off non-fans. At the heart of Unlimited lies a solid thrash album. Definitely recommended to fans of all things rock.

“No, I don’t hate Balboa. I pity the fool.” – Clubber Lang, Rocky III.

Has there ever been a better movie bad ass than Rocky III’s Clubber Lang (played my Mr. T)? While Rocky is busy being wined and dined, Clubber Lang trains like a mo-fo. He tells Rocky he’s dead meat. He makes fun of Rocky at his own press conference. When Adrian opens her pie hole he puts her in her place too. He scares Mickey (Burgess Meredith) so bad that he gives him a heart attack and kills him. When asked about his upcoming fight with Rocky Balboa, he says, “My prediction? Pain.” And in the pair’s first meeting his predicion is correct, as he mercilessly kicks Rocky’s ass up and down the ring, dishing out a beating Ike Turner would be jealous of.

But in the film’s climactic rematch between the two boxers, Rocky makes a complete comeback. Despite Clubber Lang’s scary mohawk, Rocky prevails and overcomes his animalistic opponent by knocking out Clubber Lang. Was it Rocky’s training? Was it the death of his mentor and coach? Was it his dedication to the sport?

No. It was Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.

BUH. BUH BUH BUH. BUH BUH BUH. BUH BUH BUHHHHHHHHHHH. THE EYE OF THE TIGERRRRRRRRRRRR!

With that song behind him, nothing could stop Rocky. It was like the old Three Stooges short Punch Drunks, where every time Curly hears “Pop Goes the Weasel” he goes crazy and beats everybody up. That’s what Rocky should have had in the first fight — Apollo Creed in his corner with a big boom box blasting out “The Eye of the Tiger”. And in Rocky IV, when the power of “Eye of the Tiger” begins to wane, have no fear — Rocky switches to Survivor’s “Burning Heart” and uses the power of that song to kick a Russian’s ass!

Never underestimate the power of a Survivor song.

On Survivor’s 2004 Ultimate Survivor CD, you get “Eye of the Tiger”, “Burning Heart”, and sixteen other classic Survivor tracks. Use caution when playing this CD, however — you might accidentally kick someone’s ass without even meaning to!

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a “fan” of Survivor, but I liked them enough back in the 80’s and this CD is a nice throwback to those days. Their greatest hits CD includes some classic power ballads, some out and out ballads (“The Search is Over”), some rockers, and even the obligitory “unreleased” track. “Rockin’ Into The Night”, made famous by 38 Special, was originally a Survivor song. It appears for the first time ever on Ultimate Survivor.

If you’re a Survivor fan, this is a must own disc. All 18 tracks have been digitally remastered and sound awesome. The CD comes with a 16 page booklet that contains interviews with the principal members of Survivor, and tells the complete story of the band from inception to current day. There are also several awesome pictures of the band from their glory days in the 80’s.

Survivor is currently recording an album set to be released later this year. If they harness the power from Eye of the Tiger, it’s sure to be a success.