The Muppets Mayhem is a 2023 10-episode series on Disney+ starring the house band from the original Muppet Show, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

Nora, one of two employees at a failing record label, aspires to become a music mogul despite her current position as a lowly assistant. While shredding papers, Nora discovers that the world renown Electric Mayhem once accepted a large cash advance from the label in exchange for an album which they never delivered. (The band promised to deliver an album after their tour ended and then proceeded to go on tour for 45 years.) Nora, with help from her sister Hannah, her music mogul and ex-boyfriend JJ, and Mayhem superfan Moog, plan to wrangle in the Electric Mayhem, squeeze a debut album out of them, and reap the rewards.

The glue holding the show together is the Electric Mayhem, who ironically can’t seem to hold anything together. The six-piece band, consisting of Dr. Teeth, Sgt. Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot, Lips, and Animal, can’t focus on anything long enough to get anything accomplished. Subsequently, Nora spends 10 episodes attempting to drag the Mayhem into the 2020s by arranging recording sessions with modern producers, giving them cellphones, and introducing them to social media.

Like many one-off series, The Muppets Mayhem would have worked better as a two-hour special than a 10-episode series. To fill all those episodes, viewers are taken on multiple long side quests. In one episode, the band spends the night in the desert and attempts to find themselves by ingesting 30-year-old marshmallows and spending half of a 22-minute episode tripping and having hallucinations in a way-too-long Doors-inspired segment. In another episode, due to a misunderstanding Animal believes he is no longer needed in the band and spends half an episode at an employment agency applying for work. (His tenure answering phones is short lived.) On Family Guy these would be 5-10 second clips and in a normal length film they would last two minutes, but in today’s episodic format they become entire episodes that are slightly entertaining but ultimately don’t move the needle forward.

With Adam F. Goldberg (from the Goldbergs) at the helm you know this is going to be a nostalgia fest, and true to form there are classic Muppet references galore. Additionally, with Disney money comes Disney connections, and the show has more cameos and licensed music than it can handle. In ten 22-minute episodes the Electric Mayhem run into Billy Corgan, Morgan Freeman, Cheech and Chong, Kevin Smith, Peter Jackson, Ziggy Marley, Ryan Seacrest, Paula Abdul, Weird Al, Danny Trejo, and dozens of other celebrities. There’s also a steady stream of appearances for younger viewers like deadmau5, Charlamagne The God, Lil Nas X, and Zedd. This huge spread guarantees you’ll recognize some of these people, but unlikely to recognize (or care about) them all. Some of these cameos are so forced that they feel cringy, like when Susanna Hoffs (former lead singer of the Bangles) drops by and not only has to introduce herself but admit that Lips is the one who “taught her to walk like an Egyptian.”

There’s a price to pay for that kind of access and it comes in the form of product placement. The band makes an excursion to shop for groceries all to set up a bit where Animal fills a shopping cart with Fritos, and then says “Fritos!” ten times. Restaurants, businesses, and products are constantly mentioned and appear on screen. Sgt. Floyd Pepper spends a few seconds coming up with a new jingle for Bennigan’s. In an establishing shot, the camera pans down from the Chateau Marmot sign to catch the band’s bus driving by. Animal plays with a Simon toy for 30 seconds, during which the band says “Simon” 20 times. Animal gets a job at Teppanyaki Terrace, works around people in Teppanyaki Terrace uniforms, and appears on a Teppanyaki Terrace billboard. Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok are frequently mentioned by name.

The series has 10 half hour episodes for Nora to succeed, for the love triangle between Nora, JJ, and Moog to get resolved, and the Electric Mayhem to record an album, all of which we know are going to happen. The final episode ends with the Electric Mayhem heading out on tour, which they had been doing for the past 45 years before the show began. It’s possible this could lead to a second season, but more likely it’ll lead to even more Disney+ series. What we need next is a 10-episode series about Fozzy the Bear’s journey through the world of stand up comedy, or how Sam the Eagle left the forest and found the Muppet Show, or…

Two years after the first film ended, Becky is back, and this time she’s mad…der. She’s madder.

To recap, in the first film a group of white supremacists crossed paths with Becky, demanded she return an item, killed her guardian, tortured her dog, and chased Becky around the woods while she violently and gleefully murdered them one at a time.

In The Wrath of Becky, which picks up after a three year gap, a group of white supremacists cosses paths with Becky, demands she returns an item, kills her guardian, tortures her dog, and chases Becky around the woods while she violently and gleefully murders them one at a time.

Stop me if that sounds familiar.

The movies aren’t identical, of course. This time around, it’s a group of “Noble Men” (clearly a stand in for the Proud Boys) who get tangled up with the world’s most dangerous teenager. And this time, it’s a USB stick containing the names of every Noble Man that Becky has made off with. There are other differences too, but the devil is in the details; by and large, both of these films are about a teenage girl who pushes back when pushed too far.

Because we know who Becky is and we understand that the Noble Men are bad guys, the film doesn’t need to waste on character development and can get right to what everybody came for. The first Noble Man lured outside the home finds himself fastened to a chair with a hand grenade duct taped to his mouth and a string connecting the pin to the front door of the home, and that’s just the beginning. Unfortunately for the Noble Men, there’s a stockpile of weapons out in the barn just waiting for Becky to discover and find creative uses for.

Like the original, The Wrath of Becky is over the top; while not a cartoon, it feels more like a comic book than the real world. To squelch anyone from saying “but that wouldn’t happen in real life” on the way out of the theater, at the end of the film sixteen-year-old Becky — with the list of Noble Men — is hired by the CIA and issued a rocket launcher, so… yeah.

Both Becky and The Wrath of Becky are grindhouse revenge films from the 70s redone with HD cameras and slick CGI special effects. Grenade-exploding heads never looked so good. The plot’s about as deep as one of Becky’s hole traps, but it’s all in fun… unless you’re someone in this film other than Becky.

While browsing the entertainment section of Walmart or, more likely, the “please buy me” table at a garage sale, you have probably run across one of Mill Creek Entertainment’s “MegaPacks” of DVDs. These large box sets contain 50 movies and come with exciting names like “50 Drive-in Movie Classics” or “50 Sci-Fi Invasion Films.” Sometimes they even bundle them together — I paid $5 for “100 Awesomely Cheesy Movies,” which included two smaller collections (“50 Swinging Seventies” and “50 Excellent Eighties”). When you think of “excellent eighties movies” you might think of movies like Footloose, Karate Kid, or Top Gun, but… those are a little out of Mill Creek’s reach. Instead, you’ll find a stack of movies you’ve never heard of with titles like “Tuareg the Desert Warrior”, “My Mom’s a Werewolf”, and, from 1984, “Hard Knox”.

The recipe for Hard Knox is pretty simple. Mix equal parts of Police Academy and Stripes in a blender and then use a sifter to remove any humor, intelligence, or actors with talent.

In the film, retired military pilot Colonel Joe Knox arrives at the military school he previously graduated from only to discover it may close down. Knox’s mission is to whip a new wave of recruits into shape and ultimately lead them in competition against a rival school. This is literally the plots of Police Academy 1 and 4 combined. One of the few recognizable actors is a young Alan Ruck (Cameron from Ferris Bueller) who plays Frankie Tyrone, the stereotypical “if I act crazy I can get out of here” character. There are several other characters of course, but for the most part you’ll just want them to go away.

The kids break each other down before building the team back up, and even ol’ Knox is forced to learn new tricks when the school lets some danged-ol’ women-folk join the club. The film jumps between dorm scenes, people in military uniforms having boring conversations, and training sequences. All of these scenes build toward a showdown between the newly recruited dopes and another school (see: Police Academy 1). Each squadron of recruits is given a pouch full of paint-filled balloons and sent out into the forest to do battle. The kids are given balloons instead of guns with live ammo because they would have taken out the director before turning on one another.

Mill Creek goes the extra mile here by providing a DVD directly sourced from a VHS tape (occasionally the tracking breaks loose). Every 8-10 minutes the movie fades to black, revealing that Hard Knox was actually a made for television film. According to IMDB had the film been successful it was intended to launch a television show, and since you’ve never heard of the television show Hard Knox, that tells you all you need to know about the movie.

Judy Blume wrote books for tweens about tweens, and back in elementary school I read a bunch of them. Books like Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Blubber, and Superfudge featured regular characters in relatable settings and situations, always embroiled in some type of “coming of age” story. “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” is a 2023 film based on the 1970 Blume book of the same name.

The story opens as 11-year-old Margaret’s parents drop the bombshell that her father has taken a job that will relocate the family from New York to New Jersey. In one fell swoop, the family will be moving, Margaret will be changing schools, Margaret’s mother will be quitting her job and becoming a stay at home mom, and Margaret will no longer be able to see her grandmother, whom she is particularly close to.

Margaret has more than New Jersey to adjust to; she’s becoming a young lady, and Margaret and her new group of friends are constantly comparing bra sizes and in a rush to see who will be the first to get their periods. There’s also a religious angle, as the title suggests. Margaret’s father and grandmother are Jewish, her mother is Christian, and Margaret’s maternal grandparents have become estranged due to the marriage. A school report about religion has Margaret exploring different religions and her own relationship with God.

Blume’s stories are popular because she takes relatable characters and places them in situations we’ve all experienced before. Unfortunately if you’re a boy, you may have a tough time finding things to directly relate to in this film. My wife loved the book growing up and enjoyed the film as well. As Margaret and her friends do their bust exercises while shouting “we must, we must, we must increase our bust!” I was like, “girls really did that?” while my wife cackled with laughter. It’s a cute film full of experiences I couldn’t relate to. Your wives will love it.

When did murdering people become so freakin’ violent?

There are a few things every Scream film is required to include. It has to have Ghostface as the killer; that’s a given. It has to establish early on that no one is safe, something the first film introduced in the opening scene courtesy of Drew Barrymore. It has to be full of twists and turns; the killer has to be obvious, then not so obvious, then implausible. It’s got to be filled with self-aware teens and young adults who understand the rules of the horror genre and still manage to get themselves stabbed. And, especially evident in the last few films, the levels of violence, gore, and blood must surpass the previous films.

All of this happens within the first five minutes of Scream 6. This time, the sacrificial lamb is a film professor and expert on the horror genre who possesses two things required for the role: a smokin’ hot body and a severe lapse in judgement. It only takes a phone call from a potential suiter to lure our professor into a dark New York City alley, and before you know it Ghostface emerges from the shadows to stab her. Violently. Again, and again, and again. It’s an uncomfortably long scene that establishes the film’s level of violence. The days of satisfying horror fans with a few jump cuts followed by a lingering shot of a bloody corpse are long gone. Anything less than a close-up of the knife going into a person’s gut no less than 10 times is unacceptable. Our sacrificial lamb gurgles as all of her blood empties itself into the dirty alley, and finally we can cue the opening credits.

Scream 6 continues the story of sisters Sam and Tara, who survived their encounter with Ghostface in the previous film (2022’s “Scream,” which for simplicity’s sake we’ll refer to as “Scream 5”). Courtney Cox reprises her role as pesky investigative reporter Gail Weathers as do a few members of the sisters’ friend circle because who else would we have to stab? Not returning are David Arquette (who was killed in Scream 5) and Neve Campbell (who wanted too much money for Scream 6).

In Scream 6 we learn the surviving sisters have moved to New York City, and when Ghostface shows up and begins killing the people around them, older sister Sam makes the smartest suggestion of the film and recommends they leave town immediately. But they don’t, because this is a Scream film, and soon we’re back in Stabbyville as Ghostface begins his traditional slaughter. Of course Ghostface isn’t the same “Ghostface” from Scream 5, Tara’s ex-boyfriend Richie, because he was killed. Then again, every entry in the franchise has featured multiple killers and they always get killed, and none of that acts as a deterrent to the next film’s killer. No matter the body count, there’s always just enough of a connection for someone to don the infamous mask and pick up the knife once again. If nothing, it saves the franchise from all the embarrassing hoops other franchises (Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween) have jumped through to bring back a killer that was “we promise super duper dead this time.”

Like every other film in the franchise, you can’t trust much of what you see in Scream 6. In every Scream film Ghostface has had a partner that allows the killer to throw suspicion away from him or herself. We’ve literally seen people die in these movies only to return — sometimes the wounds weren’t quite fatal, while in other cases deaths were faked. People have swapped masks to make it appear Ghostface was in two places at once. By the time you get to Scream VI, all hope of figuring out who the killer is goes out the window as literally anyone in the film, including our two final girls from Scream 5, get fingers pointed at them. Is it the girls? The boyfriend? The FBI agent? Another film students? Gail Weathers? One of the new characters? A complete stranger? In Scream, the process of elimination happens as suspects are removed from the film in body bags, and even then you shouldn’t use a permanent marker to strike through their names. At some point with these films you have to quit worrying about where the rollercoaster is taking you and just enjoy the bloody ride.

One thing these films never account for is how multiple people of varying heights and often different sexes all pass for the same Ghostface. I suppose when you’re running for your life, estimating a killer’s height isn’t the first thing on your mind. Also, for the record, either putting on Ghostface’s cloak and mask gives people superhuman powers, or there must be MMA-levels of cardio training required as a prerequisite to wield the knife. Compared to his victims, Ghostface is always faster, always stronger, and always more resilient. In one scene, Ghostface shrugs off a hit to the face with a metal frying pan. My memories of wearing a latex Halloween mask as a kid was that I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t see anything. Somehow, the Ghostface mask has the opposite affect. Even characters that appear to be weak become Spring-heeled Jack once the cloak goes on.

I literally laughed when, after the release of Scream 4, everyone involved with the franchise — and I mean everyone, from the production company to the writers and directors to all the actors — said Scream 4 was the absolute, no bullshit, 100% last film in the franchise. After the release of that film, Harvey Weinstein famously said “we’ve milked that cow.” (He said some other famous things, too.) But if there’s one thing I know about horror movies and Hollywood in general, it’s that cows can be milked for a long, long time… and after the milk dries up, those cows can have baby cows which can then be milked. There will always be teens willing to get stabbed and always angry people with just enough of a motive to put on a mask and do the stabbing. There will always, always be milk.

Oh, and blood. There will always be blood.

As part of a plea bargain, disgraced basketball coach Marcus Marakovich (Woody Harrelson) has been court ordered to serve 90 days as the coach for a not-very-good local basketball team. The idea of a coach inheriting a team of under performing athletes and turning them into winners is not new (see: A League of Their Own, Major League, The Replacements, Glory Road, Gridlock Gang, The Bad News Bears, Cool Runnings, Hoosiers, The Mighty Ducks, Remember the Titans…) If Champions brings anything original to the table, it’s that in this case, the athletes are mentally challenged.

The theme of Champions is revealed early in a bit of tough love assistant coach Marakovich’s receives from his coworker Coach Phil Perretti (Ernie Hudson), who informs Marakovich he’s not bad at coaching — he’s bad at relationships. And while the members of the “Friends” basketball team could certainly use some pointers on the court (one of the players insists on shooting backward granny shots; in six seasons, he’s never even hit the backboard), what the players really need is a mentor and a friend. It’s obvious that Marakovich has what it takes to improve his players’ skills on the court, but what they really need is a little help succeeding off the court, too.

The movie dips its toe into the stories of the individual basketball players (all of whom are played by actors with real mental challenges) but only inasmuch as their struggles overlap with the coach’s goal of turning the misfits into a winning team. One member of the team works for an abusive manager at a local restaurant, but it only becomes a problem when the manager won’t let him off to attend practice. The best player on the team has a personal reason for refusing to play for Marakovich, but resolving this issue seems less about helping someone with mental challenges and more about helping the team win. The de facto leader of team Friends is Johnny, a young man with Down Syndrome who is struggling to move out of his mother’s home and is too afraid of water to take a shower. Johnny gets more story time than most of his teammates, but his attractive sister is dating the coach. None of this is particularly detrimental to the film’s plot, but to be sure this is a movie primarily about the redemption and growth of a coach and not as much about the players. In the end it’s not the players who learn that winning means doing their best — they already know this — it’s the coach that needs to learn this lesson.

Costarring with Woody Harrelson and Ernie Hudson are Kairlin Olson as Alex as the coach’s love interest (and Johnny’s sister), Cheech Marin as Julio, manager of the local rec center, and Mat Cook as Sonny, Harrelson’s former assistant who mostly serves the story as someone who can give Harrelson a break from coaching so that he can do other things. Among the team’s players are Madison Tevlin, Kevin Iannucci, and Joshua Felder. I didn’t recognize any of the players from other films and most of them only have this film listed on their IMDB page, but a few of them are return actors and no doubt we’ll be seeing some of them again.

If you’ve seen the trailer you’ve seen the film, but that doesn’t make the 90 minutes any less of a feel good film.

There’s something inherently disturbing about Christmas-themed horror films. The holidays are a time of year when most people spread goodwill and exchange gifts, so I can see how a killer axe-wielding robot dressed in a Santa suit may not be suitable for everyone’s holiday party. For those who aren’t opposed to a little blood sprinkled over a fresh blanket of snow, Christmas Bloody Christmas might just be right up your chimney.

The setup to Christmas Bloody Christmas is criminally simple. A fleet of robots acquired from the US Defense Department have been repurposed as “RoboSanta+” units, designed to replace “degenerate mall Santas.” Unfortunately for just about everyone in their vicinity, the RoboSanta+ units have a flaw that occasionally causes them to revert back to their previous military programming, turning them into ho-ho-horrible killing machines.

The film stars Riley Dandy as Tori Tooms, the twenty-something owner of a local record store whose only goal this Christmas Eve is to get drunk and hook up with a random stranger on Tinder. Robbie, one of Tori’s employees, convinces her that drinking and hooking up with him would be less work. On their way to Tori’s the pair make a few stops, one to meet Tori’s friends who are having their own drunken and drug-fueled party at the local toy store, and another at the local bar. Along their journey Tori and Robbie drink, do drugs, and drop more f-bombs than Santa drops presents. The majority of the first act is spent introducing us to future victims.

The film wakes up the same time RoboSanta+ does, and unfortunately for our partying friends at the toy store, someone left a sharp axe a little too close to their robotic Santa. Before the couple knows what hit them, RoboSanta+ hits them. (Like, with the axe.) Soon, ol’ RoboSanta sets its laser sights on Tori and, with a belly full of Christmas spirit, anyone who makes the mistake of getting in its way.

The movie’s low budget hasn’t affected the cinematography. The film, shot on 16mm, looks great. The sets are highly stylized (seemingly every store and bedroom has neon lighting) and the synthwave music sounds like it came straight out of an 80s slasher. The film thankfully eschews CGI and serves up a series of practical (and very bloody) kills as RoboSanta makes his way through town. That being said, it doesn’t take long to see where the budget went and where they skimped. The film’s medium-sized town only seems to have about a dozen citizens, only about half of which are played by actual actors. According to IMDB’s trivia section, one is the writer/director, one is the producer, one is the costume designer, and one is the art director.

As fun as the movie is to watch, it’s also incredibly shallow. I can get over the fact that RoboSanta+ units spontaneously wake up and “break bad” (although it would have been nice to have some some inciting event — being struck by lightning worked for both Short Circuit’s Number 5 and Chopping Mall’s Killbots), but what’s never really explained is why this particular RoboSanta+ is after Tori. Its pursuit of her is unstoppable, just like the Terminator and Michael Myers, but in both of those cases we know why. Just a little bit of work in the story department could have elevated Christmas Bloody Christmas.

In the end, Christmas Bloody Christmas perfectly emulates an 80s slasher film. Unfortunately, like most of those films, it’s pretty forgettable.

The year is 1973, and Ralphie — the young boy who wanted a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas more than anything in the world back in the 1940s — is now married, with children of his own. With the passing of Ralphie’s father (“the Old Man”), Ralphie and his family must rush from Chicago back to the home he remembers (the one we [i]all[/i] remember) in Cleveland to take care of family affairs while pulling off Christmas for the first time without help from his father.

Several actors from the original film have returned to portray adult versions of themselves including Peter Billingsley (Ralphie), his younger brother Randy (Ian Petrella), his childhood friends Schwartz and Flick (R.D. Robb and Scott Schwartz) and others. Sorely missed are Ralphie’s parents, The Old Man (originally (Darren McGavin, who passed away in 2006) and Melinda Dillon as the mom, who has been replaced by Julie Hagerty (of Airplane!), who plays the role completely wrong.

A Christmas Story Christmas has its own story of Ralphie attempting to pull of Christmas with a b-plot of him attempting to become an author, but there are so many callbacks and references to the original film that at times the plot gets lost. Multiple times throughout the film Ralphie reminisces about events from his childhood, after which we are treated to short clips from the original film. The original A Christmas Story is one of the most watched holiday films of all time. Nobody watching this film doesn’t remember the pink bunny suit, Flick sticking his tongue to a frozen flagpole, or what a triple-dog dare means.

Now that the Old Man has passed, it is up to Ralphie to put together Christmas for his family. Much of the plot is dedicated to how he’s going to accomplish this, but it’s almost played as if Ralphie has never seen or heard of Christmas before. Ralphie struggles to come up with things for his family to do, but he’s a married man with a roughly 10 year old son and slightly younger daughter. I guess… do what you’ve been doing the past 10 years? How much brainstorming is involved in putting up lights and a tree? Fortunately, everybody in the film takes a pact “not to be sad” early on, so little time is spent mourning, talking about, or even reminiscing about The Old Man. And how convenient that the Bumpasses still live next door, and still have a lot of dogs.

A Christmas Story Christmas isn’t terrible — it’s a Christmas story with people you know. There’s fun and laughs to be had, and more nostalgia than Cleveland has snow. The film relies heavily on nostalgia (in many cases nostalgia of the first film), but until the original which was about the magic of Christmas and a boy who would do anything to get the present of his dreams, this one is about a middle-aged man trying to hold together Christmas while dealing with the loss of his father. Merry Christmas!

In the summer of 2021, 22-year-old Gabby Petito was murdered by her fiancée, Brian Laundrie, while the two traveled across the country in a modified camper van. The Gabby Petito Story is a 2022 made-for-TV movie documenting the couple’s relationship from its inception through its untimely end.

For those who did not follow the story as it unfolded in 2021, Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie left their apartment in 2021 in a camper van to see the country. At least twice, the couple became involved in public domestic quarrels, one of which led to the couple being pulled over and, in a decision that has been both scrutinized anc criticized, were allowed to leave together. Days later, Brian returned to Florida, conspicuously without his fiancée. Ultimately, Petito’s remains were discovered in Wyoming’s Bridger–Teton National Forest. Two months later Laundrie’s body was found in Florida, the victim of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

The Gabby Petito Story fills in the gaps of the couple’s relationship, and wastes little time in showing Brian Laundrie’s dark side. In the early days of their relationship. Laundrie is portrayed as merely insecure; by the time the couple moves in together, he’s jealous, paranoid, and ultimately violent. Despite Petito’s constantly reassurance that their relationship is solid, Laundrie’s rage is constantly simmering, always on the verge of boiling over.

Second only to “maybe a baby will save our relationship” on the list of bad ideas, the two decide to move into a small Sprinter van (approximately 35 square foot) and see the country, a living arrangement that could test even the healthiest of relationships. Along their way, the two are portrayed relatively one-dimensionally; Laundrie constantly puts down Petito’s blog, website, and just about everything else; while Petito never gives up hope on her husband and is confused by his eternal despise.

It is only after multiple public confrontations that Brian Laundrie eventually returns to Florida without Gabby. Lifetime posits that Petito may have attempted to end their relationship, which caused Laundrie to snap. Multiple “creative” scenes and conversations have been added to pad out the story; ultimately there’s a lot nobody knows, and nobody wille ever know, about what happened. The Petitio family stated they were neither consulted nor connected to this film, so it seems a lot of artistic license may have been taken to connect the dots.

The Gabby Petito Story leaves out a lot. It is mentioned that the FBI obtained a warrant for Laundrie after he used Petito’s debit card, an action we never see. We don’t see how Laundrie sneaked out of his own home while being surveilled by the FBI, nor do we hear from his parents, two people who were under suspicion for assisting a murder suspect. And finally, we don’t see anything about what it was like for two people growing apart to spend time together in a small van. We see them driving occasionally, but imagine the tension of two people eating, sleeping, and living together in 35 square feet.

The Gabby Petito Story comes off as one long Unsolved Mysteries reenactment. Little is added to the story and other than Lifetime’s theory that a breakup was what caused Laundrie to snap, few theories are posited. Anyone who followed this case on CNN as it unfolded won’t find much new material here.

[Note: All comments in this review regarding Gabby Petito, Brian Laundrie, and any other characters appearing in this film are referring to the characters only and not the real people.]

HALLOWEEN ENDS is the 13th film in the Halloween series of films and the third of the Blumhouse trilogy, proceeded by 2018’s Halloween and 2021’s Halloween Kills. While the franchise’s infamously twisted timeline consisting of disconnected sequels and reboots is messier than a Michael Myers crime scene, the latest three movies serve as a direct continuation of 1978’s Halloween, ignoring everything that happened in films two through ten. As such, HALLOWEEN ENDS serves as both the conclusion of a trilogy and the culmination of the battle between babysitter Laurie Strode and boogeyman Michael Myers, a battle of good vs. evil that began more than 40 years ago.

Any momentum gained in the previous two films comes to a screeching halt at HALLOWEEN ENDS inexplicably opens with a flashback in which newly introduced character Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell) accidentally causes the death of a young boy three years prior while babysitting. Shunned by the citizens of Haddonfield after the incident, we see Corey bumbling his way through life working at the local junkyard. Before long Corey crosses paths with Allyson Strode (Andi Matichak), Laurie’s granddaughter. The Strode family themselves are none too popular with the citizens of Haddonfield, many of whom blame the Strodes for the return of Michael Myers and subsequent trail of carnage he carved through town before disappearing. Before long the two dysfunctional twenty-somethings have crossed paths and become a couple.

Through a chance encounter we learn the seemingly immortal and eternally evil Michael Myers has been eking out an existence in a drainage ditch below an overpass. During the exchange, Myers appears to infect Corey with his evil essence. Before long Corey and Myers have teamed up, and who needs who more is unclear.

Also unclear is why Laurie Strode seems to have forgotten the events that took place in the last two movies, much less the previous 40 years. In 2018’s Halloween it was established Laurie had spent the past four decades preparing for the return of Myers, including (but not limited to) acquiring an arsenal of weapons and turning her home into a fiery death trap. In HALLOWEEN ENDS, Strode — after suffering the loss of her daughter to Myers in the previous film — has moved back into town, began work on her memoir, and bafflingly embraced Halloween to the point of carving jack-o-lanterns and baking pies.

Before arriving at the Myers/Strode showdown audiences came to see, the film must first deal with Corey who himself has arrived for Laurie. The final confrontation does happen — it has to happen — with an outcome as unambiguous as it could possible be. Thein again, this is Halloween, a franchise that likes to have its pumpkin pie and eat it, too. Michael Myers has been presented as a mortal man, the personification of evil, and everything in between. Never say never.