Creepozoids (1987)
Creepozoids, released in 1987, is a post-apocalyptic film that takes place in 1998 — “six years after the superpowers have engaged in a devastating nuclear exchange. Earth is now a blackened husk of a planet.” Through additional opening text we learn small groups of humans “eke out a miserable existence in the ruins of cities” while avoiding bands of deserters, mutant nomads, and avoiding acid rain.
It’s the impending threat of acid rain that sends five deserting soldiers in search of cover. After breaking into a seemingly abandoned warehouse, the group spreads out to search the new location and fortunately, there’s a little something for everyone — the nerd finds a computer, the two leaders find a place to rest, and Linnea Quigley finds a shower and an excuse to take her clothes off because… well, she’s Linnea Quigley. Through a floppy disk full of electronic diary entries, the nerd learns that whoever previously occupied the location was working on a way for humans to generate their own amino acids so that they would never have to eat and some other scientific-sounding gobbledygook. We can assume the experiments didn’t go well when one of the soldiers erupts into a volcano of black goop, another member is attacked by a rodents of unusual size, and a third encounters a six-foot tall monster that seems less than friendly.
Once the Creepozoid arrives in all his man-in-a-suit glory, the team of less-than-elite soldiers are quickly converted into exploding oil wells, zombies, and sometimes both. Because the acid rain prevents the group from escaping, they are forced to stay and fight the Creepozoid (with mostly disastrous results). The group’s laser blasters prove ineffective against pretty much everything, forcing the team to find alternate ways to defeat the monster. And just when you think the good guys have won, it turns out the Creepozoid was hiding a secret (she’a a mommy!) at which point I was treated to the most uncomfortable man vs. baby fight since the park scene in Dead Alive.
Despite aping Alien beat-for-beat, Creepozoid isn’t all bad. I would have liked to have seen more scenes of the wasteland and a slightly more developed monster, neither of which I expect the budget allowed for. That being said, 1987’s Creepozoids is a 1950’s monster movie — it’s not a matter of if the monster will show up, but when, and who will have the wits to survive the attack.
Tags: halloween2020, horror