The Blood Divine was a crappy band from the mid 90s who had the distinct ability of being able to take the worst elements of goth, doom, and speed/progressive metal and combine them into something that sucks even more. No one would have ever heard of the band if its members hadn’t had ties to other, bigger bands (Cradle of Filth and Anathema). The band released two studio albums, 1996’s Awaken and 1997’s Mystica, and broke up in 1998, which makes the timing of 2002’s Rise Pantheon Dreams (a greatest hits package) almost as strange as the band itself.

For those not familiar with The Blood Divine, every song on this disc contains two or three major style changes, usually performed abruptly. “Aureole”, the CD’s opening track, starts with 90 seconds of goth keyboards, morphs into a fairly straight forward rock song, and ends with some fairly heavy keyboard goth tones. “Wilderness” swings back and forth between goth and doom, until the end where the song picks up a thrash-like groove. The only two songs that stick to a single style are “Forever Belongs” (1:52) and “Revolt” (1:31).

Worse than the jumbled songs is the mix, which pushes the vocals and keyboards so loud in the mix that it’s almost a joke. The keyboards are gloomy, doomy, and over the top, and while they’re cheesy and loud, and least they were played well. Darren J. White’s vocals are a different story. The vocals are generally loud, layered with too much echo, and just bad. I am serious, when you first hear White singing you will start laughing. He’s better when he’s “just talking gloomily into the mic”, but he’s best when he shuts up altogether.

The music is average for this type of music (whatever that is). The guitars go back and forth between classic crunchy riffs and black metal type solos effortlessly. The drums are pushed back a bit, and the bass is totally drowned out in the mix. As I already stated, the vocals and keyboards are so loud that whenever you hear anything besides them it sounds pretty good.

The disc contains a couple of unreleased, limited, and live tracks, so I guess if you’re a closet Blood Divine fan who has been sitting around crying because you’ve never been able to find a live version of “Aureole” (yes, it appears on the disc twice), you can finally relax. Of course, if you’re already a fan of the Blood Divine, you most likely have their two studio albums, from which most of this material was pulled. And if you’re not a fan, you won’t be buying this.

Rise Pantheon Dreams is a compilation that takes its listeners on a journey that starts with “suck” and ends with “ass”. If you are one of the band’s twenty fans who’ve been depressed ever since The Blood Divine broke up five years ago, and don’t have their previous two albums, then rush right out and pick up this amalgamation. Otherwise, stick with Anathema, Cradle of Filth, December Moon, and My Dying Bride.

Tracks:
01. Aureole
02. Visions In Blue
03. As Rapture Fades
04. Revolt (Previously Unreleased)
05. Wildeness
06. Sensual Ecstasy
07. Enhanced By Your Touch
08. I Will Bleed
09. The Passion Reigns
10. Leaving Me Helpless
11. Forever Belongs (Previously Unreleased)
12. So Serene
13. Crazy Horses (Live)
14. Aureole (Live)

I’ve got a hell of an ear for music. I remember hearing Motley Crue’s Decade of Decadence for the first time back in ’91 and instantly realizing that they had re-recorded “Home Sweet Home”. The song was essentially the same, almost identical in fact, but it was just different enough for me to hear it. Sure enough, after searching through the liner notes, I found that the song had been rerecorded. To this day, I can tell you which version is being played on the radio (I live in Oklahoma — “Home Sweet Home” still gets plenty of airplay here.) I remember the same thing happening with Collective Soul’s “Shine”. The video version was slightly different than the single. Sometimes I’ll hear a song on the radio and realize it’s slightly faster or slower than the version on the album. Not enough to make a huge difference mind you, just enough to drive me crazy …

And if you can imagine how crazy that makes me, you should have seen me after listening to the recently re-released Blizzard of Ozz. Ozzy’s first solo album, originally recorded and released in 1980, has been totally reworked.

For those who missed the mud-slinging a few months ago, Ozzy Osbourne, in response to “continually being harassed for royalties” by Bob Daisley (bass) and Lee Kerslake (drums), has decided to reenter the studio and replace the original drum and bass tracks with performances by current Ozzy backup band members Robert Trujillo (bass) and Mike Bordin (drums). Ozzy has been a bit misleading about the situation (his website only mentions that the rereleases are “digitally remastered from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound” — so, if somehow you can extract “the bass and drum tracks were removed and were replaced with new performances by new performers” from “digitally remastered from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound” then good for you. Blizzard of Ozz isn’t the only album getting the treatment — Diary of a Madman, Tribute and No More Tears are also being rereleased.

But, I didn’t buy them. I bought Blizzard of Ozz.

If you’ve ever spent any time in a music studio, you know how hard sounds are to reproduce. Microphones are placed, moved until an exact sound is reached, and then NOT MOVED AGAIN. If you want to see a studio engineer’s head literally explode, accidentally bump a snare mic halfway through the recording of an album. They’re that picky. So, my initial question was, “how are they going to duplicate the sounds and performances from twenty-two years ago?”

The answer is, they didn’t even try. Beginning with the opening bass line on “I Don’t Know”, things sound “not right”. The bass tone is totally different than the original. Daisley’s original bass sound was low key and “toneless” for the most part. Robert Trujillo (ex-Suicidal Tendencies/Infectious Grooves) is definitely not known for playing a low key and toneless bass, and he doesn’t. Sure, the notes are for the most part the same, but the sound itself is not.

Mike “Puffy” Bordin, Ozzy’s current drummer, “suffers” from the same problem (if you can call sounding like himself “suffering”). Puffy, who pounded the skins for Faith No More from start to finish and has jammed with bands like Korn and Jerry Cantrell, has a very distinct, tom heavy style. Had I given it much thought, I would have realized that no amount of studio trickery would be able to hide Bordin’s unique style, and I would have been right. The Blizzard of Ozz tracks are played faithfully, but Puff’s talent still finds a way to shine through.

It’s hard to pretend that the smoke screen isn’t there. It’s like seeing your friend in the hospital after a car wreck, mustering up that fake smile and saying, “yeah, you look great. You look the same!” Because they don’t look the same. They know it, and you know it. Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake know it. Ozzy, Puffy, and Trujillo know it. I should have known it before, and after listening, I know it now.

The Blizzard of Ozz rerelease includes a tenth track originally only available in the UK, “You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You.” Common sense dictates that if the track was so great, it would have been on the album the first time around, and that logic holds up. Besides, Blizzard of Ozz doesn’t end with “You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You.” It ends with “Steal Away the Night” … doesn’t it? It’s supposed to in my mind.

The bottom line here is that I don’t give a fuck about Bob Daisley or Lee Kerslake. To me this is like going back to The Wizard of Oz and digitally replacing some munchkins. In the big scheme of things, Blizzard of Oz is known for two things, one is Randy Rhoads incredible guitar work, and the other is as Ozzy’s first solo and break through album. I’m sure those two munchkins three rows back and to the left did a fine job on the set, but the bottom line is people watch the movie for Dorothy and could give two shits about the munchkins. And, it would still bug me the whole time — I’d probably be staring at those two tiny mother fuckers the whole time.

Re-recording the album is fundamentally wrong. It’s wrong in a “Lucas fucking with Star Wars” sort of way or a “Spielburg changing FBI agents guns to walkie-talkies in ET” sort of way. That being said, Ozzy’s a multi-millionaire and I’ve been nominated for writing the “Worst Review Ever” by some guy named PengIn, so what the hell do I know. Trujillo and Bordin are well respected and incredible musicians in their own right, but it’s just not the same. I’m sure these guys would change their opinion on the project if Mike Patton or Mike Muir decided to rerelease some old albums and hired Bob Daisley or Lee Kerslake to replace THEIR performances.

Is this album an improvement, a “digitally remastered [version] from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound”, or just the ultimate spiteful act? Regardless the reason, the Blizzard of Ozz album is perfect proof that “you can never go back.”

Even if you’re the Prince of Fuckin’ Darkness.

01. I Don’t Know
02. Crazy Train
03. Goodbye To Romance
04. Dee Rhoads
05. Suicide Solution
06. Mr. Crowley
07. No Bone Movies
08. Revelation (Mother Earth)
09. Steal Away (The Night)
10. You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You

In 1989, a friend of mine turned me on to Wolfsbane’s debut album, Live Fast, Die Fast. The first time I heard him sing, I knew vocalist Blaze Bayley would become famous. He did, eventually, but not in Wolfsbane. In 1993, Bayley left Wolfsbane and became the lead singer for one of the biggest metal acts in the world, Iron Maiden. Despite Bayley’s best efforts, the five years he was with Maiden was five of their worst. After his departure in 1999, Bayley went on to form the band Blaze.
Following 2000’s Silicon Messiah and 2002’s Tenth Dimension comes Blaze’s third release, As Live As It Gets, a live double-disc release. Those wondering if Bayley’s chops can carry a two CD live set need only to pop in the first disc and crank it up to be convinced.

Pulling material from Blaze’s first two albums as well as various tracks from Maiden’s X-Factor and Virtual XI, the eighteen tracks on As Live As It Gets certainly do not disappoint. “Speed of Light”, the opening track, lives up to it’s name as Steve Wray and John Slater take turns shredding riffs as fast as possible.

Disc one wraps with the band’s version of Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused”. While Bayley is no Robert Plant, the band puts enough of a spin on it to make it their own, and the tuned-down, distorted rendition does the classic justice.

Disc two picks up slower than the first, but finally gets up to speed with songs like “Futureal” and “Ghost in the Machine”. By “Tenth Dimension”, the album’s closing track, the band has been cruising along at full speed for quite some time.

As a fan of Bayley’s work, I never felt like he got a fair shake in Iron Maiden. Even his great voice couldn’t pull the band through those dark years. With his new band Blaze, Bayley is allowed to do what he does best. As Live As It Gets is a masterpiece — fans of any portion of Bayley’s work over the years should check out what the man’s been up to lately. Listeners won’t be disappointed.

Tracks:
Disc 1
01. Speed Of Light
02. Two Worlds Collide
03. Steel
04. Kill And Destroy
05. End Dream
06. Stare At The Sun
07. Land Of The Blind
08. Silicon Messiah
09. Dazed And Confused

Disc 2
01. Virus
02. The Brave
03. Stranger To The Light
04. Identity
05. Sign Of The Cross
06. Futureal
07. Ghost In The Machine
08. Born As A Stranger
09. Tenth Dimension

In 1992, the german industrial bandDie Krupps made history by releasing A Tribute to Metallica, an entire album consisting of industrial re-workings of Metallica songs. The album was a breakthrough release for the band, and helped bridge the gap between industrial and metal music.

In 1998, Cleopatra Records collected cover tunes from some of the most cutting edge industrial bands on the scene and released the compilation as The Blackest Album in reference to Metallica’s “Black Album”. The CD was a huge success and ended up spawning several industrial tribute compilations to different bands. Cleopatra currently offers industrial tributes to Tool, Marilyn Manson, Prodigy, Tori Amos, and Radiohead.

2002’s The Blackest Album 3 follows in its predecessor’s footsteps by presenting thirteen Metallica covers by just as many bands. It feels odd to call some of these songs “covers” because without looking at the song titles, many of them are hard to recognize. I like to call those songs “reworkings” –the lyrics are the same, but the timing, presentation, instrumentation, and sometimes even the song arrangements are totally different from the originals. While many of them are tough to recognize during the first listen through, some of them are just as tough to recognize the tenth time through.

And right there lies the crux of this review –“who exactly is this album’s target audience?” It’s not Metallica fans, who would surely pop their pimples in the direction of such metal blasphemy. Fans of industrial music may or may not enjoy this disc; while they will probably enjoy the music, they probably hate Metallica (don’t we all these days?) and won’t be too excited about their favorite bands covering these musty old metal tunes. It’s probably not fans of the bands on this disc, who for the most part are unknown (at least in mainstream circles).

When I think of “industrial music,” I think of Nine Inch Nails and Ministry. Those bands are tons heavier than any music found on this disc. Most of the songs are synthesiser versions with vocals tracked on top, so if you aren’t looking forward to hearing beeps and boops replacing Lars’ drumkit, you’re going to be disappointed. More than an “industrial tribute” to Metallica, this is more a “dance” or “club” tribute.

One of the disappointments with this album is the song choices. I know I’m a wrinkled up cranky old-ass man, but about half the songs (“The Cure”, “Carpe Diem Baby”, “King Nothing”, “Hero of the Day”, “The House That Jack Built”, “Secret/Outro”) were songs from Load or newer that I either didn’t know (mostly) or didn’t like. The other half (“Harvester of Sorrow”, “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”, “Leper Messiah”, “My Friend of Misery”, “Orion”, “The Thing That Should Not Be”, and “The God That Failed”) I enjoyed listening to. Or, at least I recognized … the titles.

The tracks that shine on The Blackest Album 3 are the ones that blend a little metal with a little synth.Transmutator’s “Orion” and Excessor’s “Leper Messiah” both feature live guitars laid over drum blips that give a bit of human emotion to an otherwise stale set of bookends. For me, Metallica riffs just don’t translate well to programmed keyboards. Tolchock’s “The Thing That Should Not Be”, which mixes guitars, an upbeat tempo, a few samples, and a recognizable vocal performance (that at least resembles the original close enough that you can sing along) in a successful blend, is probably my favorite track on the album.

The majority of the rest of the album beeps and snaps and ticks and whirs along to a perfect click track. Many of the 100% electronic cover tunes come off sounding like projects that were recorded in someone’s bedroom, (and I assume probably were).

So, does all this mean I didn’t like the album? Yeah, pretty much, that’s what it means. But does it mean it’s a bad album? No. There’s a difference. The cover design, font and graphics are specifically designed to market this CD to Metallica fans, but I think that’s probably the wrong crowd. Fans of industrial music would probably enjoy this most. Metallica fans may enjoy giving the disc a spin to hear how their favorite tunes have been mangled, but I doubt it would remain in their changer for long. Those longing to hear Metallica tunes should probably go pick out a Metallica CD.

Tracks:
01. The Cure – K16
02. Harvester Of Sorrow – Funker Vogt
03. Carpe Diem Baby – Enhanced Reality
04. Welcome Home (Sanitarium) – Razed In Black
05. Leper Messiah – Excessor
06. My Friend Of Misery – The Element
07. Orion – Transmutator
08. The Thing That Should Not Be – Tolchock
09. King Nothing – Transistorhythm
10. The God That Failed – Neotek
11. Hero Of The Day – Lunar Flux
12. The House Jack Built – Godeater
13. Secret / Outro – Black Eyed Sinner

When I was a teenager, you couldn’t go to a Oklahoma City rock show without seeing Forte’ performing as the opening act. Their bassist, Rev. Jones, had a particularly interesting way of starting off each show. Before the band would kick off their opening song, Rev. Jones would come up to the front of the stage and hawk a loogie straight up into the air. My friends and I discovered this the hard way, as moments later a huge wad of spit and snot came back down and landed on my shoulder. In true Bill and Ted fashion, I shouted, “Dude, Forte’ just totally spit on me! Yes!” and we high fived each other.

When not touring with the Michael Schenker Group or standing in with other bands (the Rev is currently playing bass on tour with Fuel this month while their bass player and his wife have a baby), the ex-Forte’ bassist stays busy with his own band, The Black Symphony.

Black Symphony actually sounds vaguely reminiscent of Forte’. Both bands incorporate smartly written metal which, while founded in good old metal, is obviously influenced by thrash, speed, and progressive metal. The limited edition of Tears of Blood comes with four cover tunes of The Who, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Queensryche. That’s probably a pretty good indicator of the band’s influences.

“Tears of Blood (Part 1)” and “Tears of Blood (Part 2)” sandwich the album and cover the musical spectrum. Part 2 is particularly awesome, and really encompasses the feel of the band. The track kicks off with the 30 second piano piece with a guitar solo echoing in the background, moves to a heavy thrash part only to be followed by an almost operatic piece. Most of the tracks aren’t as dramatic as this one, but by the time you’ve grooved your way through the entire album, it all makes sense and fits together.

Don’t get scared off by that description. Tracks like “Left in Confusion” and “I Am Hate” are as heavy as they come. What makes them seem even heavier is the flow of the album; “I Am Hate” is followed by “Death”, a lumbering, almost majestic piece of work.

You can’t put out music like this if you can’t play your instruments. Besides the aforementioned Rev. Jones, drummer Pete Holmes has performed with Black-n-Blue, Ted Nugent, Yngwie Malmsteen and Ian Gillan. These guys are veterans of the scene and it shows in their mature musicianship and performances.

Check out the guys’ website, download some of the MP3 samples and check ’em out. Black Symphony have a third and final CD coming, and new material on the way from a new band with a slightly different lineup. Fans of intricate metal everywhere should check out the buzz.

Plus, it’s loogie free.

Short review:

“BiastFear brings to the table a mixture of several different genres, that some might even say shouldn’t ever be crossed. Their style, self described as “Heavy-Hop” is a unique mixture of rock, metal, hip-hop, and r&b and results in an aggressive sound that is energetic and powerful, yet flowing and melodic.” — BiastFear’s website.

Slightly longer review:

Take the overall sound of Sevendust with some R&B vocals (reminiscient of Tracy Bohnam) laid over the top, and you’ll have a general idea of what BiastFear sounds like. The Cleveland quartet’s third album, All Angels Scream, is quite the departure from the band’s earlier sound. Previously being accused of sounding too much like Fear Factory, one thing BiastFear should never have to worry about is sounding too much like anyone else.

Musically, the band is pretty tight. A large and familiar snare sound heads up the percussion section. Sevendust again comes to mind when discussing the bands guitar sound. The bass maintains a fairly clean sound and hovers between the drums and guitars, maintaining an identity of it’s own. The production on this CD is very, very good. Unfortunately, that’s not what anyone will be talking about after hearing this disc.

Of course, focus will be on the unique vocal presentation by Crystal. There’s two basic styles presented here, Crystal rapping and Crystal singing. When Crystal sings, she is very, very good. There’s no studio tricks here — she’s good. When Crystal raps, it just doesn’t sound good. Some of the songs sound like they were written to have some guy grunting or yelling over the top of them, and Crystal’s voice rapping over the top of them just doesn’t cut it. Part of it is probably the fact that her singing sounds so good, her rapping sounds mediocre in comparison.

In Throughout, My Own Enemy, Look At Me and particularly Shattered are good tracks that show off the band’s talent. The songwriting is catchy, the riffs are hummable, and the vocals are a nod back to the days when singers sang. Call me crazy, but I like it. The band cuts loose near the end of the disc with their cover of the Beastie Boys’ No Sleep Til’ Brooklyn (Cleveland), but for the most the songs hover around emotions, relationships and similar subjects.

I wouldn’t want to hear ten bands doing this style tomorrow. Taking the band at face value, they’ve done something pretty original, and at least in BiastFear’s case, it works. Worth a spin at least for the uniqueness factor.

Tracks:
01. In Throughout
02. Coming Down
03. All Angels Scream
04. Holding On
05. My Own Enemy
06. A Public Service Announcement
07. Look At Me
08. Shattered
09. Don’t You
10. Planet Skitch
11. Honest
12. No Sleep Till…
13. Bonus Track

It’s been 20 years since the Beastie Boys released their seminal Licensed to Ill album, and on Solid Gold Hits the band celebrates the anniversary with a collection of 15 of their greatest hits spanning the past two decades.

Unlike many greatest hits packages that slip in a couple of unreleased or new tracks here, Solid Gold Hits covers no new ground. Long time fans of the band may find this a tough purchase with no new material included, however younger fans (or those somehow completely unfamiliar with the band) should find the disc quite enjoyable. There’s essentially no filler here, and with fifteen tracks included for $11.99, buying the CD is cheaper than downloading them from iTunes.

If you purchased last year’s 2 disc, 42 track anthology, you can skip this one — likewise, if you already own everything from Licensed to Ill on up, you can also pass. This is geared toward fans who “liked that Intergalactic song” or “remember those white rappers from the 80’s” and would like to hear more. It would make a great Christmas gift for a friend or relative who never got to ride in the back of a school bus singing Brass Monkey.

01. So What’cha Want
02. Brass Monkey
03. Ch-Check it Out
04. No Sleep Till Brooklyn
05. Hey Ladies
06. Pass the Mic
07. An Open Letter to NYC
08. Root Down
09. Shake Your Rump
10. Intergalactic
11. Sure Shot
12. Body Movin’
13. Triple Trouble
14. Sabotage
15. Fight for Your Right

It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since the Beastie Boys’ Hello Nasty dropped. The single “Intergalactic” came, went, and that was that. Shortly afterwards, MCA became a peace-loving monk, and the band released their dual DVD Video Collection with all the curse words bleeped out of it. It appeared that the b-boys had gone and grown up on us.

Fortunately for fans such as myself, 2004’s To The 5 Burroughs finds the boys in top shape. Any rumors that the boys have grown soft over the years should be squelched by the amount of shit’s, goddamn’s and motherfucker’s that appear throughout the album (starting during the chorus of the album’s first single and opening track, “Ch-Check it out”).

Musically, TT5B is already one of my favorite Beastie Boys albums. The beats are simultaneously new and old. Unlike Paul’s Botique, the boys manage to tastefully mix beats, samples and hooks without delivering information overload. Gone are the live rocking performances of from the Ill Communication/Check Your Head era — TT5B’s sound is completely hip hop. The multiple samples that appear throughout the album will test even the most scholared rap fan’s trivia knowledge.

Lyrically, the Boys are still on top of their game as well. It will take fans several spins to unravel the tounge-twisters and multiple messages of the album. Balance is the key, and the Beastie Boys (along with acts like Public Enemy and Rage Against the Machine) have mastered the art of delivering heavy messages in tasty packages — so much so that listeners may barely notice lines like “George Dubya’s got nothing on we/we got to take the power from he” nestled into “That’s It That’s All”.

The Beasties are most mature on “An Open Letter to NYC”, a song that addresses the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center as well as the rebuilding and general pride of New Yorkers. Don’t don’t let that fool you; tracks like “The Brouhaha” and “Rhyme the Rhyme Well” are pure fun, while tracks like “3 the Hard Way” and “Hey Fuck You” give back a little of that New York attitude.

To The 5 Burroughs couldn’t be any more perfect. It’s this generations’ Licensed to Ill.

When I was five years old I used to pretend to be Batman by draping a blue towel over my shoulders and having my mom safety-pin the front two corners together. Almost 30 years later, my son does the same thing — some things never change. When Batman debuted on television in early 1966 it was an instant hit. People couldn’t get enough of the Caped Crusader and his sidekick Robin. Enthusiasm for the show spilled onto radio airwaves, where fans have been singing the masked ones praises ever since. Batmania – Songs Inspired By The Batman TV Series is a compilation of fifteen such songs, covering 40 years of tributes.

Fans of the television show will enjoy the appearances of original cast members on many of the songs included here. Adam West appears in the comedic songs “Miranda” (1966), “Batman and Robin”, and “The Story of Batman” (both from 1976). Burgess Meredith (as the Penguin) appears on both “The Capture” and “The Escape” while Frank Gorshin sings about his own capers in “The Riddler” (all from 1966). Most of these songs more closely resemble spoken-word poetry performed over generic music than actual songs.

Several of the tracks that appear on the compilation were written as tributes to the show’s characters by legitimate artists. “The Joker is Wild” by Jan and Dean, “Batman A Go Go” by the Combo Kings and “That Man” by Peggy Lee are all a little tough to take seriously, but are interesting nonetheless. Some of the other tracks play more like radio comedy skits, the strangest of which is Ratman and Bobin in the “Clipper Caper” by The Brothers Four, which, as the name implies, isn’t about Batman and Robin at all but rather their similarly named downstairs neighbors.

The remaining four tracks present different versions of the television shows theme song. The original television version by Neal Hefti makes an appearance, along with a slower, horn-laden version by Al Hirt, an 80s pop version by Dave Allan & the Arrows and an orchestral take by Joel McNeels and the Royal Scottish National Orchestra and Chorus. Holy String Sections, Batman!

Batmania – Songs Inspired By The Batman TV Series includes a brief written history of Bat-related musical releases as well as a note about the recording of the song Miranda came about as told by Adam West (he was asked to sign a recording contract while lying in a hospital bed). Despite a great fondness for the show, it would be hard to recommend this disc to anyone but the most die hard bat-fans. Who needs four different interpretations of the original theme song? Most of the comedy bits aren’t that funny the first time through and are less so the second time around. Its definitely a must-have compilation for fans of the weird. I had no idea there were this many Batman-related songs released throughout the 60s and 70s, and after listening to this disc I now know why most of them have never resurfaced.

Bat-earplugs not included.

01. Batman Theme – Neal Hefti
02. The Story Of Batman – Adam West
03. The Capture – Burgess Meredith
04. Batman To The Rescue – LaVern Baker
05. Batman Theme – Al Hirt
06. Batman And Robin In The Clipper Caper – The Brothers Four
07. Batman A Go Go – Combo Kings
08. Miranda – Adam West
09. That Man – Peggy Lee
10. Batman Theme – Davie Allan & The Arrows
11. The Joker Is Wild – Jan & Dean
12. The Riddler – Frank Gorshin
13. The Escape – Burgess Meredith
14. Batman And Robin – Adam West
15. Batman Theme – Joel McNeely/Royal Scottish National Orchestra And Chorus

Baby Snakes is a film by Frank Zappa. It’s not a movie in the normal sense, but more like a cross between a documentary, a live concert, and Pink Floyd’s The Wall. With a running time close to three hours, you’ll want to go into Baby Snakes well-rested. You’ll probably get the most out of the film if you go in “reality-altered” as well.

Comprised mostly from material recorded from ’77-’79, Baby Snakes contains both studio and live concert footage from that time. The footage has an unedited “home movie” vibe to it. The scenes are intercut with completely insane clay animation by Bruce Bickford. In an interview conducted by Zappa, Bickford explains how he was once “stuck in a forest by some rocks’ natural magnetism that they had acquired over the ages” and “could not leave until the pot wore off.” Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

To be quite honest, I had a tough time getting into Baby Snakes. I’m not a big Zappa fan and I don’t do drugs, which I think are the most likely intended demographics here. As a fan and lover of all music, the behind the scenes footage was the most interesting to me. The sections where you could see Zappa work (at times seeing the gears in his head turning) were quite enjoyable.

The video quality on Baby Snakes is exactly what you would expect from a documentary mostly filmed with hand held cameras 25 years ago. The audio features a new 4 channel mix which really brings the concert performances to life. Extras are mostly limited to trailers, but the damn movie is 3 hours long people — how many extras do you need?

Zappa fans should jump at the chance to own Baby Snakes on DVD. The packaging is elaborate and stuffed with tons of goodies. Fans of music with an open mind might want to wade lightly into the waters. 3 hours is a tough pill to swallow in one sitting, but there’s plenty of moments of genius hidden within that time frame to make it worth the effort.