V/H/S/85 (2023)
V/H/S is a series of horror anthology films that consist mostly of found footage style short stories. The latest (sixth) in the series, V/H/S/85, contains stories that take place in the mid-80s, thus the name. Consistent with the film’s theme, all the footage is of VHS-quality.
Like lots of these anthology-style films, the stories in V/H/S/85 are short stories, all of which contain some sort of “twist.” Unfortunately, it seems like so much time and effort has been put into making the segments look as though they were filmed in the 80s that many of the segments seem so light on content that some of them feel half baked. Each segment was created by different writers and directors so everything feels disjointed — it’s as if they’re all from the 1985, but different versions of 1985. V/H/S/85 is a direct-to-Shudder (streaming) release and so even though several of the directors involved in the project are established, the segments are less about taking artistic chances and more about concept ideas that aren’t completely fleshed out.
Bordering on unwatchable is “God of Death,” a short in which a Mexican news broadcast is interrupted by an earthquake. As cameras continue to roll and rescue personnel work to free those who have been trapped, we learn that the news station sits atop ancient Aztec ruins, which were in turn home to ancient (and now hungry) Aztec monsters. It’s the type of plot that anyone who has ever read a horror story, has heard of H.P. Lovecraft, or frankly has been to Mexico could come up with in about 30 seconds. If you’re looking for deeper meaning here, you’ll find none. An earthquake freed some monsters and now they’re gonna getcha. The end. If this segment weren’t bad enough, it’s shot with handheld footage and is presented completely in Spanish, which means you’ll be trying to read subtitles over shaky-cam footage. No gracias.
Equally as bad but in all new ways is “TKNOGD,” featuring a female performance artist who leverages the latest technology (a virtual reality headset) to perform some sort of Satanic ritual. Things go wrong by going right and a virtual demon appears in her headset to give her the business. The crowd of dozens mistakes her suffering as part of the performance, and she receives a standing ovation as she lays dead on the stage. People being killed on stage and having the audience think it’s part of a performance is not a new idea, neither is virtual reality things harming people in real life. The best thing about this one is that it’s short.
Then there’s “No Wake” and “Ambrosia”, two parts to the same story. In “No Wake,” a group of college kids go swimming in a lake (big sign, “no swimming”) and are ultimately mowed down by a sniper’s bullets. There’s no motive and 80% of this short is scene setting (“gosh, you’ve never heard of Pet Sematary?”). The story ends abruptly with a vow by the remaining kids to get revenge. An hour later that comes in the form of “Ambrosia,” in which we get to see the killer’s point of view, first hand. The story ends two minutes too early, leaving viewers to wonder what’s happening and what will happen. Like most of the anthology’s stories, not enough is explained.
While most of the stories feel undercooked, “Dreamkill” feels like a week-long meal crammed into a TV dinner-sized container. The story begins with detectives receiving a VHS tape in the mail that contains footage of a particularly gruesome (think “Saw”) murder dated three days in the future. This story is less horror than it is an extremely gory detective short story featuring a pair of detectives and one really out of place looking goth kid. Were people dressing like Marilyn Manson in 1985? Not in Oklahoma, they weren’t! This one actually has some good twists and turns and was the only story I wished were longer.
There’s a wrap around story about a shapeshifting alien named Rory that’s interspliced between the other segments. It’s part The Thing and part Alien, presented in the style of an analog horror documentary tape. Again, it’s like 49% of the time was spent on the aesthetic, 49% was spent on special effects, and 2% was spent on the plot. Shapeshifting alien looks human and kills people? Seen it.
There’s a way that people speak in movies about the 80s that does not reflect how people spoke in the 80s. Do you remember anyone geeking out about beta over VHS in 1985? It happens two or three times in this movie. In one scene, a guy asks some girl what brand of “VCR deck” she has. Nobody in 1985 cared what brand of VCR you owned. I’m not even sure I knew! It’s not all, but enough of the dialog is that “oh WOW is that a Rubik’s brand Rubik’s cube puzzle!?” type of nonsense that nobody ever said and makes it feel less like something from the 80s and more like an 80s tribute from someone who probably didn’t live through it.
V/H/S/85 was a direct-to-Shudder release and is being touted as one of the better entries in the V/H/S series, which doesn’t speak well of the others.