The Super Ninja (1984)
There are certain things I expect from a films like Super Ninja. I expect battles between ninjas, hopefully involving a variety of ninja weapons. I expect quick cuts, music cues pilfered from other film soundtracks, and terrible dubbing. True to form, Super Ninja delivers all of this like a sharp punch to the jaw. The thing I wouldn’t demand or even expect is a comprehensible plot. I’ve seen more of these films than ninjas have throwing stars, and the plots are often convoluted and frequently incomprehensible, often from dicing and splicing random films together, that seeing characters disappear while new ones appear in completely different locations is not uncommon. It’s almost expected. This is where Super Ninja sneaks in a surprise, like a ninja in the night.
The film opens with an epic ninja battle which ultimately cuts to a gang attack which is broken up by officers John and Spencer who also happen to be trained in the martial arts. A member of the gang has ties of an elected official, and soon John finds himself the target of a corrupt police investigation. John’s girlfriend Nancy gets trapped in the crossfire as John is arrested and tortured by fellow officers, determined to discover just how much he knows about the drug traffickers. There’s a subplot involving Nancy and her father, a scientist, who has come up with a drug. I didn’t say the plot was award worthy, but it’s followable.
A pleasant surprise for me (but not anyone who’s seen the trailer) was the arrival of the Five Elemental Ninjas, brightly colored ninjas from the film of the same name. With suits and supernatural skills that match the elements, like water and fire. The Elemental Ninjas are a force to be reckoned with and add over the top action to the film.
Is Super Ninja a good film? Not really. There are some pretty unbelievable plot twists, and poor Nancy gets molested multiple times and even when she appears in a consensual sex scene, it’s way, way too long to be enjoyable for anyone involved (that includes both Nancy and the audience). Also somewhat problematic is the voice actor who dubbed Spencer’s voice, who sounds like a white guy doing an exaggerated and borderline racist impersonation of a black man. It’s laughably awful.
BUT, is Super Ninja a fun movie? Weird sex stuff aside, the answer is yes. This film has feels like someone took fight scenes from three films and crammed them into a 90 minute film. It’s the opposite of a modern Hollywood blockbuster, with long action sequences broken up by quick interjections of plot and, occasionally, long and uncomfortable sex scenes. Middle-aged me enjoyed the film; teenage me would have absolutely loved it.
Super Ninja is available to stream for free on Tubi: LINK