Slotherhouse (2023)
I went into Slotherhouse mostly blind, knowing only the title and a vague hint that the film featured a killer sloth. I hadn’t even seen the trailer. With only very little information there were things I expected to see in this film. I expected to see a slow-moving animal that probably kills people. Things I didn’t expect to see were a sloth driving a car, taking selfies on an iPhone with its victims, or fighting for control of a handgun. This ain’t your parents’ sloth. Also, why do your parents have a sloth?
The sloth in question is captured by a poacher from its natural habitat and smuggled into the US to be sold as an exotic pet by a guy who is totally not Joe Exotic (his name is O-Exotic). The sloth ultimately ends up in the possession of Emily Young, a college senior who quickly learns that the cute, furry animal brings her a surge of popularity in her sorority; so much so that she decides to challenge the sorority’s mega-bitch defacto president. Not everyone in the house is pleased about their sorority’s new mascot, and before long those same girls begin to mysteriously disappear.
As ridiculous at the premise and antics of the sloth are, the film doesn’t go far enough in a lot of ways. To be honest I’m not sure what earned the film its PG-13 rating. In the 1980s, every member of this sorority would appear topless at least once. Here, several pledges go through a hazing process in which they enter a shower completely clothed. Most of the deaths are implied and appear off screen. The violence is on par with most made for television horror films. Where the film does get a little extreme is in the silliness of the sloth’s actions. We learn early on that the little guy is smart, but by the time we see him using someone’s laptop, all bets are off. As the sloth steals a car, buckles his seatbelt, and speeds off to commit another murder, all I could do was laugh. It’s all in good fun, and everybody’s in on it.
Slotherhouse is better than it deserves to be but not as good as it could have been. If you’re going to go over the top with your premise, you’ve got to go all the way with your plot, your violence, your language, your everything. Instead what we get here is a pretty middle of the road sorority murder mystery with one very out there killer. What would have worked here was an over the top, frantic horror film. Instead, mostly, we get a “slow” burner.