“Shunt,” the opening track on Centrifuge’s Visions Old, Feelings Cold, begins with eight kick drum beats in twelve seconds. Watch a second hand on the next clock you see to find out just how lumbering that is. At 1:40 into the song, we hear the first hint of a voice — some thickly chorused clean vocals, lightly draped over a non-distorted guitar riff, a slower than usual bass track, and that same steady, penetrating kick drum. That conglomeration continues until almost three and a half minutes into the song, where we really get our first glimpse of what Centrifuge is all about. A wall of fuzzed-out power chords hits us, moving so slowly that it’s frustrating. At four minutes, all four elements finally come together — the haunting, echoey vocals, the thick, murky guitar, the totally nasty bass, and the cumbrous drums — and form something awesome.

Unlike bands like Meshuggah where changes jump out at listeners from behind every riff, Centrifuge spends their time building the foundation of each song solidly. “Shunt” doesn’t actually begin rocking until somewhere around the 5:30 marker, and keeps it up for another two minutes before breaking apart back into its individual elements. They might spend a minute just establishing the drum beat. Got it? Ok, let’s move on to the bass. With five tracks stretching across almost 40 minutes, the band has no problem erecting a presence and laying down solid foundations for each song.

While the songs are constantly changing, none of them do so unnaturally. Unlike, say Metallica’s …And Justice For All, here the changes can almost be predicted. The songs aren’t long for long’s sake; the tracks are taking you on a journey, and whatever the length is just happens to be how long it takes to get “there” — wherever there is. The most beautiful part of the album occurs during songs like “Underneath”, where part A takes you to B, B transitions to C, C then moves into D. Right around that time you begin to notice that D has nothing to do with A, and yet it makes sense that you’re there, somehow. Nothing on Visions Old, Feelings Cold is circular; nothing ends where it began. Everything has a definite beginning, journey, and ending.

The slow pace of the album physically and mentally wears you out. After the first listen I felt like I’d been working out for an hour. Sweat was running down my face, and I literally felt exhausted. Fortunately on track four, Centrifuge offers a bit of relief with “Bleeder,” the most upbeat track on the disc. That’s all the break you’re getting, as track five hits us with the ten minute title track, combining lessons learned from the previous four tracks. The build, the bass, the heavy (oh my God the heavy), the repetition — it’s all here.

Centrifuge’s style of doom has more in common with Neurosis than it does with Black Sabbath. While most albums I listen to tend to inspire or excite me, Centrifuge’s Visions Old, Feelings Cold left me hot, thirsty, sweaty and exhausted. I couldn’t tell if my heart was going to stop or burst. What is this? Sludge? Heavy Rock? Doom? Sludge? What is Visions Old, Feelings Cold like? It’s like walking against the wind in a dream. It’s like wading through waist-high mud or snow. It’s like pushing a car. Uphill.

I can’t wait to do it again.

Tracks:
01. Shunt
02. Ethanol
03. Underneath
04. Bleeder
05. Want, Fear, Believe

Old rockers never die, they just … change their image, sound, and lineup, and keep on rockin’. Such is the story with Britney Fox, the 80’s hair band who’s single “Girl School” won them some fans and got some MTV airtime. After 12 years of silence, Britney Fox has returned with Springhead Motorshark — sans original lead singer Dizzy Dean Davison.

Although Britney Fox has moved away from the classic 80’s metal sound that lumped them in with the likes of Cinderella and Warrant, they haven’t moved away from making decent music. The album kicks off with “Pain”, a middle of the road rocker that is great for a warm up, but unfortunately sets the pace for the rest of the album. Musically and lyrically, there’s nothing too deep here. The band rocks along with a little bark but not as much bite as I would have liked. There were several songs I enjoyed, but they all seemed to come from the same cookie cutter — a used one from the 80’s.

And like every old 80’s album, we get a couple of slower acoustic tracks thrown in. They’re not bad, but in a world where most love songs have “bitch” or “ho” in them, I don’t think tracks like Is It Real? will win the kids over.

After twelve years away from the recording biz, it feels like Britney Fox has lost touch with their fans. It’s a decent effort, but after 12 years of being away, Britney Fox should have cranked it into overdrive for this one. While everything on Springhead Motorshark is good, nothing on it is great.

01. Pain
02. Freaktown
03. T.L.U.C. (For You)
04. LA
05. Springhead Motorshark
06. Is It Real?
07. Coup D’etat
08. Far Enough
09. Lonely Ones
10. Memorial
11. Sri Lanka

I had most of this review mentally written even before I had heard the album. The introduction was going to state that Brides of Destruction is the new group featuring Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) and Tracii Guns (L.A. Guns). The review would then go on to compare Here Come The Brides to previous Motley Crue and L.A. Guns albums. Finally, it was going to talk about how much I love 80’s metal and how awesome the new Brides of Destruction album was.

Unfortunately, the review didn’t turn out that way. I had hoped that the collaboration between Sixx and Guns would bring out the heavier side of both musicians. Instead, both seem content in writing and releasing nine tracks of poppy rock. That doesn’t make it bad, but it wasn’t what I had hoped for.

Musically, the album goes out of its way not to break new ground. Most of these songs would have a hard time finding a home on any hard rock radio station, and a couple could jump right to the adult contemporary stations.There are a couple of rockin’ songs, but more often than not I found myself skipping around and looking for something heavy, catchy, or even likable.

While Tracii Guns’ solos shine on tracks like “2x Dead”, his talent doesn’t flow over into the main riffs. Likewise, Sixx’s basswork is decent as expected, but the lyrics are at times embarassingly bad. In “I Don’t Care”, the band begs, “I don’t care/What I got to do to love you/I don’t need/I need you to love me too.” In “Natural Born Killer”, the chorus is filled with a bunch of “Nah Nah Nah”‘s and enough “Heys” to make Rob Zombie jealous. “Life” is a hopelessly generic song about not wasting your life. “”This is life/Once again/It’s been knockin’ at your door/You outta let it in/Don’t waste it/It’s time you face it.” The lyrics read like something I would have thought was cool in sixth grade … which, when I come to think of it, would have been when I was listening to Shout at the Devil.

Part of the problem for me was that vocalist London Le Grand’s never seemed to sell any of the songs. The guy sings, but seems devoid of any personality. He sounds like a million other singers.

Don’t be fooled by the cover of Here Come The Brides — there’s nothing here heavy enough for Headbanger’s Ball. While technically the album is sound, it lacks bite. I had hoped for Shout at the Devil and got Theater of Pain. Tracii Guns has a few moments of brilliance (particularly in the solos on “Revolution” and “Only Get So Far”) and Nikki Sixx puts together a few catchy chord changes here and there, but strip the famous names from the album and you’d have to change the band’s name from Brides of Destruction to Bargain Bin Widows.

01. Shut The Fuck Up
02. I Don’t Care
03. I Got A Gun
04. 2 Times Dead
05. Brace Yourself
06. Natural Born Killer
07. Life
08. Revolution
09. Only Get So Far

Every musical trend has two stages.

The first stage is when a new sound or style is created. Whether or not you like them, I’m using Korn as an example. When I first heard Korn, they didn’t sound like anything else I had heard at that time. Once an album like this gains popularity, stage two will quickly follow.

The second stage begins when a million other bands jump on the bandwagon. Korn had an innovative sound; Linkin Park does not. When Korn first came out, you couldn’t say “they sound like [insert band here]”, because frankly, they didn’t sound like any other band out at the time. Now, of course, when describing Linkin Park, you can say, “they sound just like Korn, except …” and add your own caveats.

There are a few musicians however that are so desperate to regain stardom, popularity, and probably income, that they will do whatever it takes to regain the spotlight. They will totally change their musical style and image to shed their past and try and hop on whatever bandwagon is out there. You can always tell when they’re getting really desperate, as they’ll grab any artist with any credability whatsoever, and do “collaborations”.

There are three big examples I can think of off of the top of my head. The first, and king, is Vanilla Ice, for doing this not once but two times. After his original gig went up in smoke, Ice reinvented himself as a hardcore rapper, only to later reinvent himself as a nu metal act. Ouch. The second example I can think of is MC Hammer, who after staring bankruptcy in the face, came back as just “Hammer”, and gave up his dance act for a tougher gangster image (and later dropped that for his holy act). Notice how this never seems to work?

The third member of this trinity is Brett Michaels, lead singer of Poison.

I make no apologies for my past (and present) love of hair metal bands. It’s okay to love butt rock, people. Motley Crue’s Generation Swine might not rock, but Shout at the Devil did, and still does.

But, back to the hair rocker at hand. Brett Michaels has released another solo album, this one titled “Show Me Your Hits – A Salute to Poison.” I can only imagine “A Salute to Poison” means “money for Brett.” I doubt very seriously CC DeVille is getting a fourth of this disc’s profits (not that a fourth of the profits, or even all of them, would probably pay a month’s rent.)

I would tend to think someone like Brett Michaels could whip out pop songs on a whim, but instead of coming up with some new original offerings, Michaels retreds on safe ground with 11 tracks that even casual Poison fans would be familiar with. The more I listen to it, I’m wondering why the hell this was even recorded? None of the versions are better than the originals. If you liked the originals you’re not going to like these versions, and if you didn’t like the originals chances are you’re not going to be checking out this disc anyway.

Slaves on Dope, Great White, and Pauly Shore are just a few of the people Michaels collaborated with on this disc. Of course, I had to figure this out by checking the web, because the booklet that comes with the CD doesn’t have much more than song titles and a small thank you section.

Note to self: If you have dug such a hole so deep in your career that you feel the need to use PAULY SHORE to help pull yourself, give it up. Lots of us have worked in fast food restaurants, now it’s your turn.

Musically, this CD is all over the map. Slaves on Dope puts out a very nu metal sounding “Look What The Cat Drags In,” so if you want to hear Brett Michaels scream “Look what the cat … DRAGS … IN … ARRRRRRRRGH!” then this is the song for you.

It just goes on and on and on. Talk Dirty To Me is presented as a sloppy punk song. I Want Action has some of the worst production ever heard (imagine a slow, muddy mix with the bass turned all the way up and the speed turned down to half speed). The most confusion part is, most of the rest of the songs sound very close to the originals. Most of the guitar work is close, but not dead on. It’s like when you’re playing guitar in your room, and you play along with the easy guitar riffs, and when the hard part comes along, you just play the easy part some more because well Hell, no one’s listening. Well guess what kids, when you play guitar on a Brett Michaels solo album … wait, no one’s still listening, nevermind.

The album’s strangest moment appears on track 7, with Pauly Shore singing lead vocals on “Unskinny Bop,” which he reworks into “Unskinny Cock.” Ya know, on a Pauly Shore album, maybe funny, but on this it just comes off as just another sad moment. To say that he’s no Weird Al is probably the understatement of the century. Shore throws in lines like “let me hear all the mother fuckin’ dogs out there!” Wow, is that from this decade? Is it even from the last? The first line of the song is, “What’s got you so stony?” Is he still talking like that? He also says stuff like “Fuck da ho, It’s all about bitches and money ya know”. Again, if this is what you’re counting on to pull your career back, it’s time to learn how to say such cool phrases as, “you want fries with that?”

Brett Michaels has a recording studio in his home – I can understand that. He wants to have some fun with some friends, and re-record some versions of his old songs for fun. I can understand that. Then, for some reason, he puts those on CD, and puts it up for sale. You lost me there.

This disc was a late 2000 release, and just showed up on eMusic for download. I went to Brett Michael’s homepage – no mention of this album. I went to Cleopatra’s homepage – no mention of this album. I searched CDNow for information on this disc – no mention of this album. Maybe everyone already knows what I said in my review about the disc.

You know, I will defend 80’s hair metal until the day I die. Maybe not the Trixters and the Firehouses of the group, but stuff like Motley Crue, Ratt, LA Guns, Twisted Sister, and other bands of that ilk still rock.

But with releases like this, it makes it harder and harder for me to keep defending it.

Tracks:
01. Look What The Cat Dragged In
02. Talk Dirty To Me
03. Fallen Angel
04. Something To Believe In
05. Nothin’ But A Good Time
06. I Want Action
07. Unskinny Bop
08. Stand
09. So Tell Me Why
10. Doin As I Seen On My TV
11. Every Rose Has Its Thorn

The Blood Divine was a crappy band from the mid 90s who had the distinct ability of being able to take the worst elements of goth, doom, and speed/progressive metal and combine them into something that sucks even more. No one would have ever heard of the band if its members hadn’t had ties to other, bigger bands (Cradle of Filth and Anathema). The band released two studio albums, 1996’s Awaken and 1997’s Mystica, and broke up in 1998, which makes the timing of 2002’s Rise Pantheon Dreams (a greatest hits package) almost as strange as the band itself.

For those not familiar with The Blood Divine, every song on this disc contains two or three major style changes, usually performed abruptly. “Aureole”, the CD’s opening track, starts with 90 seconds of goth keyboards, morphs into a fairly straight forward rock song, and ends with some fairly heavy keyboard goth tones. “Wilderness” swings back and forth between goth and doom, until the end where the song picks up a thrash-like groove. The only two songs that stick to a single style are “Forever Belongs” (1:52) and “Revolt” (1:31).

Worse than the jumbled songs is the mix, which pushes the vocals and keyboards so loud in the mix that it’s almost a joke. The keyboards are gloomy, doomy, and over the top, and while they’re cheesy and loud, and least they were played well. Darren J. White’s vocals are a different story. The vocals are generally loud, layered with too much echo, and just bad. I am serious, when you first hear White singing you will start laughing. He’s better when he’s “just talking gloomily into the mic”, but he’s best when he shuts up altogether.

The music is average for this type of music (whatever that is). The guitars go back and forth between classic crunchy riffs and black metal type solos effortlessly. The drums are pushed back a bit, and the bass is totally drowned out in the mix. As I already stated, the vocals and keyboards are so loud that whenever you hear anything besides them it sounds pretty good.

The disc contains a couple of unreleased, limited, and live tracks, so I guess if you’re a closet Blood Divine fan who has been sitting around crying because you’ve never been able to find a live version of “Aureole” (yes, it appears on the disc twice), you can finally relax. Of course, if you’re already a fan of the Blood Divine, you most likely have their two studio albums, from which most of this material was pulled. And if you’re not a fan, you won’t be buying this.

Rise Pantheon Dreams is a compilation that takes its listeners on a journey that starts with “suck” and ends with “ass”. If you are one of the band’s twenty fans who’ve been depressed ever since The Blood Divine broke up five years ago, and don’t have their previous two albums, then rush right out and pick up this amalgamation. Otherwise, stick with Anathema, Cradle of Filth, December Moon, and My Dying Bride.

Tracks:
01. Aureole
02. Visions In Blue
03. As Rapture Fades
04. Revolt (Previously Unreleased)
05. Wildeness
06. Sensual Ecstasy
07. Enhanced By Your Touch
08. I Will Bleed
09. The Passion Reigns
10. Leaving Me Helpless
11. Forever Belongs (Previously Unreleased)
12. So Serene
13. Crazy Horses (Live)
14. Aureole (Live)

I’ve got a hell of an ear for music. I remember hearing Motley Crue’s Decade of Decadence for the first time back in ’91 and instantly realizing that they had re-recorded “Home Sweet Home”. The song was essentially the same, almost identical in fact, but it was just different enough for me to hear it. Sure enough, after searching through the liner notes, I found that the song had been rerecorded. To this day, I can tell you which version is being played on the radio (I live in Oklahoma — “Home Sweet Home” still gets plenty of airplay here.) I remember the same thing happening with Collective Soul’s “Shine”. The video version was slightly different than the single. Sometimes I’ll hear a song on the radio and realize it’s slightly faster or slower than the version on the album. Not enough to make a huge difference mind you, just enough to drive me crazy …

And if you can imagine how crazy that makes me, you should have seen me after listening to the recently re-released Blizzard of Ozz. Ozzy’s first solo album, originally recorded and released in 1980, has been totally reworked.

For those who missed the mud-slinging a few months ago, Ozzy Osbourne, in response to “continually being harassed for royalties” by Bob Daisley (bass) and Lee Kerslake (drums), has decided to reenter the studio and replace the original drum and bass tracks with performances by current Ozzy backup band members Robert Trujillo (bass) and Mike Bordin (drums). Ozzy has been a bit misleading about the situation (his website only mentions that the rereleases are “digitally remastered from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound” — so, if somehow you can extract “the bass and drum tracks were removed and were replaced with new performances by new performers” from “digitally remastered from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound” then good for you. Blizzard of Ozz isn’t the only album getting the treatment — Diary of a Madman, Tribute and No More Tears are also being rereleased.

But, I didn’t buy them. I bought Blizzard of Ozz.

If you’ve ever spent any time in a music studio, you know how hard sounds are to reproduce. Microphones are placed, moved until an exact sound is reached, and then NOT MOVED AGAIN. If you want to see a studio engineer’s head literally explode, accidentally bump a snare mic halfway through the recording of an album. They’re that picky. So, my initial question was, “how are they going to duplicate the sounds and performances from twenty-two years ago?”

The answer is, they didn’t even try. Beginning with the opening bass line on “I Don’t Know”, things sound “not right”. The bass tone is totally different than the original. Daisley’s original bass sound was low key and “toneless” for the most part. Robert Trujillo (ex-Suicidal Tendencies/Infectious Grooves) is definitely not known for playing a low key and toneless bass, and he doesn’t. Sure, the notes are for the most part the same, but the sound itself is not.

Mike “Puffy” Bordin, Ozzy’s current drummer, “suffers” from the same problem (if you can call sounding like himself “suffering”). Puffy, who pounded the skins for Faith No More from start to finish and has jammed with bands like Korn and Jerry Cantrell, has a very distinct, tom heavy style. Had I given it much thought, I would have realized that no amount of studio trickery would be able to hide Bordin’s unique style, and I would have been right. The Blizzard of Ozz tracks are played faithfully, but Puff’s talent still finds a way to shine through.

It’s hard to pretend that the smoke screen isn’t there. It’s like seeing your friend in the hospital after a car wreck, mustering up that fake smile and saying, “yeah, you look great. You look the same!” Because they don’t look the same. They know it, and you know it. Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake know it. Ozzy, Puffy, and Trujillo know it. I should have known it before, and after listening, I know it now.

The Blizzard of Ozz rerelease includes a tenth track originally only available in the UK, “You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You.” Common sense dictates that if the track was so great, it would have been on the album the first time around, and that logic holds up. Besides, Blizzard of Ozz doesn’t end with “You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You.” It ends with “Steal Away the Night” … doesn’t it? It’s supposed to in my mind.

The bottom line here is that I don’t give a fuck about Bob Daisley or Lee Kerslake. To me this is like going back to The Wizard of Oz and digitally replacing some munchkins. In the big scheme of things, Blizzard of Oz is known for two things, one is Randy Rhoads incredible guitar work, and the other is as Ozzy’s first solo and break through album. I’m sure those two munchkins three rows back and to the left did a fine job on the set, but the bottom line is people watch the movie for Dorothy and could give two shits about the munchkins. And, it would still bug me the whole time — I’d probably be staring at those two tiny mother fuckers the whole time.

Re-recording the album is fundamentally wrong. It’s wrong in a “Lucas fucking with Star Wars” sort of way or a “Spielburg changing FBI agents guns to walkie-talkies in ET” sort of way. That being said, Ozzy’s a multi-millionaire and I’ve been nominated for writing the “Worst Review Ever” by some guy named PengIn, so what the hell do I know. Trujillo and Bordin are well respected and incredible musicians in their own right, but it’s just not the same. I’m sure these guys would change their opinion on the project if Mike Patton or Mike Muir decided to rerelease some old albums and hired Bob Daisley or Lee Kerslake to replace THEIR performances.

Is this album an improvement, a “digitally remastered [version] from the original master tapes for the ultimate sound”, or just the ultimate spiteful act? Regardless the reason, the Blizzard of Ozz album is perfect proof that “you can never go back.”

Even if you’re the Prince of Fuckin’ Darkness.

01. I Don’t Know
02. Crazy Train
03. Goodbye To Romance
04. Dee Rhoads
05. Suicide Solution
06. Mr. Crowley
07. No Bone Movies
08. Revelation (Mother Earth)
09. Steal Away (The Night)
10. You Lookin’ At Me Lookin’ At You

In 1989, a friend of mine turned me on to Wolfsbane’s debut album, Live Fast, Die Fast. The first time I heard him sing, I knew vocalist Blaze Bayley would become famous. He did, eventually, but not in Wolfsbane. In 1993, Bayley left Wolfsbane and became the lead singer for one of the biggest metal acts in the world, Iron Maiden. Despite Bayley’s best efforts, the five years he was with Maiden was five of their worst. After his departure in 1999, Bayley went on to form the band Blaze.
Following 2000’s Silicon Messiah and 2002’s Tenth Dimension comes Blaze’s third release, As Live As It Gets, a live double-disc release. Those wondering if Bayley’s chops can carry a two CD live set need only to pop in the first disc and crank it up to be convinced.

Pulling material from Blaze’s first two albums as well as various tracks from Maiden’s X-Factor and Virtual XI, the eighteen tracks on As Live As It Gets certainly do not disappoint. “Speed of Light”, the opening track, lives up to it’s name as Steve Wray and John Slater take turns shredding riffs as fast as possible.

Disc one wraps with the band’s version of Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused”. While Bayley is no Robert Plant, the band puts enough of a spin on it to make it their own, and the tuned-down, distorted rendition does the classic justice.

Disc two picks up slower than the first, but finally gets up to speed with songs like “Futureal” and “Ghost in the Machine”. By “Tenth Dimension”, the album’s closing track, the band has been cruising along at full speed for quite some time.

As a fan of Bayley’s work, I never felt like he got a fair shake in Iron Maiden. Even his great voice couldn’t pull the band through those dark years. With his new band Blaze, Bayley is allowed to do what he does best. As Live As It Gets is a masterpiece — fans of any portion of Bayley’s work over the years should check out what the man’s been up to lately. Listeners won’t be disappointed.

Tracks:
Disc 1
01. Speed Of Light
02. Two Worlds Collide
03. Steel
04. Kill And Destroy
05. End Dream
06. Stare At The Sun
07. Land Of The Blind
08. Silicon Messiah
09. Dazed And Confused

Disc 2
01. Virus
02. The Brave
03. Stranger To The Light
04. Identity
05. Sign Of The Cross
06. Futureal
07. Ghost In The Machine
08. Born As A Stranger
09. Tenth Dimension

In 1992, the german industrial bandDie Krupps made history by releasing A Tribute to Metallica, an entire album consisting of industrial re-workings of Metallica songs. The album was a breakthrough release for the band, and helped bridge the gap between industrial and metal music.

In 1998, Cleopatra Records collected cover tunes from some of the most cutting edge industrial bands on the scene and released the compilation as The Blackest Album in reference to Metallica’s “Black Album”. The CD was a huge success and ended up spawning several industrial tribute compilations to different bands. Cleopatra currently offers industrial tributes to Tool, Marilyn Manson, Prodigy, Tori Amos, and Radiohead.

2002’s The Blackest Album 3 follows in its predecessor’s footsteps by presenting thirteen Metallica covers by just as many bands. It feels odd to call some of these songs “covers” because without looking at the song titles, many of them are hard to recognize. I like to call those songs “reworkings” –the lyrics are the same, but the timing, presentation, instrumentation, and sometimes even the song arrangements are totally different from the originals. While many of them are tough to recognize during the first listen through, some of them are just as tough to recognize the tenth time through.

And right there lies the crux of this review –“who exactly is this album’s target audience?” It’s not Metallica fans, who would surely pop their pimples in the direction of such metal blasphemy. Fans of industrial music may or may not enjoy this disc; while they will probably enjoy the music, they probably hate Metallica (don’t we all these days?) and won’t be too excited about their favorite bands covering these musty old metal tunes. It’s probably not fans of the bands on this disc, who for the most part are unknown (at least in mainstream circles).

When I think of “industrial music,” I think of Nine Inch Nails and Ministry. Those bands are tons heavier than any music found on this disc. Most of the songs are synthesiser versions with vocals tracked on top, so if you aren’t looking forward to hearing beeps and boops replacing Lars’ drumkit, you’re going to be disappointed. More than an “industrial tribute” to Metallica, this is more a “dance” or “club” tribute.

One of the disappointments with this album is the song choices. I know I’m a wrinkled up cranky old-ass man, but about half the songs (“The Cure”, “Carpe Diem Baby”, “King Nothing”, “Hero of the Day”, “The House That Jack Built”, “Secret/Outro”) were songs from Load or newer that I either didn’t know (mostly) or didn’t like. The other half (“Harvester of Sorrow”, “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”, “Leper Messiah”, “My Friend of Misery”, “Orion”, “The Thing That Should Not Be”, and “The God That Failed”) I enjoyed listening to. Or, at least I recognized … the titles.

The tracks that shine on The Blackest Album 3 are the ones that blend a little metal with a little synth.Transmutator’s “Orion” and Excessor’s “Leper Messiah” both feature live guitars laid over drum blips that give a bit of human emotion to an otherwise stale set of bookends. For me, Metallica riffs just don’t translate well to programmed keyboards. Tolchock’s “The Thing That Should Not Be”, which mixes guitars, an upbeat tempo, a few samples, and a recognizable vocal performance (that at least resembles the original close enough that you can sing along) in a successful blend, is probably my favorite track on the album.

The majority of the rest of the album beeps and snaps and ticks and whirs along to a perfect click track. Many of the 100% electronic cover tunes come off sounding like projects that were recorded in someone’s bedroom, (and I assume probably were).

So, does all this mean I didn’t like the album? Yeah, pretty much, that’s what it means. But does it mean it’s a bad album? No. There’s a difference. The cover design, font and graphics are specifically designed to market this CD to Metallica fans, but I think that’s probably the wrong crowd. Fans of industrial music would probably enjoy this most. Metallica fans may enjoy giving the disc a spin to hear how their favorite tunes have been mangled, but I doubt it would remain in their changer for long. Those longing to hear Metallica tunes should probably go pick out a Metallica CD.

Tracks:
01. The Cure – K16
02. Harvester Of Sorrow – Funker Vogt
03. Carpe Diem Baby – Enhanced Reality
04. Welcome Home (Sanitarium) – Razed In Black
05. Leper Messiah – Excessor
06. My Friend Of Misery – The Element
07. Orion – Transmutator
08. The Thing That Should Not Be – Tolchock
09. King Nothing – Transistorhythm
10. The God That Failed – Neotek
11. Hero Of The Day – Lunar Flux
12. The House Jack Built – Godeater
13. Secret / Outro – Black Eyed Sinner

When I was a teenager, you couldn’t go to a Oklahoma City rock show without seeing Forte’ performing as the opening act. Their bassist, Rev. Jones, had a particularly interesting way of starting off each show. Before the band would kick off their opening song, Rev. Jones would come up to the front of the stage and hawk a loogie straight up into the air. My friends and I discovered this the hard way, as moments later a huge wad of spit and snot came back down and landed on my shoulder. In true Bill and Ted fashion, I shouted, “Dude, Forte’ just totally spit on me! Yes!” and we high fived each other.

When not touring with the Michael Schenker Group or standing in with other bands (the Rev is currently playing bass on tour with Fuel this month while their bass player and his wife have a baby), the ex-Forte’ bassist stays busy with his own band, The Black Symphony.

Black Symphony actually sounds vaguely reminiscent of Forte’. Both bands incorporate smartly written metal which, while founded in good old metal, is obviously influenced by thrash, speed, and progressive metal. The limited edition of Tears of Blood comes with four cover tunes of The Who, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and Queensryche. That’s probably a pretty good indicator of the band’s influences.

“Tears of Blood (Part 1)” and “Tears of Blood (Part 2)” sandwich the album and cover the musical spectrum. Part 2 is particularly awesome, and really encompasses the feel of the band. The track kicks off with the 30 second piano piece with a guitar solo echoing in the background, moves to a heavy thrash part only to be followed by an almost operatic piece. Most of the tracks aren’t as dramatic as this one, but by the time you’ve grooved your way through the entire album, it all makes sense and fits together.

Don’t get scared off by that description. Tracks like “Left in Confusion” and “I Am Hate” are as heavy as they come. What makes them seem even heavier is the flow of the album; “I Am Hate” is followed by “Death”, a lumbering, almost majestic piece of work.

You can’t put out music like this if you can’t play your instruments. Besides the aforementioned Rev. Jones, drummer Pete Holmes has performed with Black-n-Blue, Ted Nugent, Yngwie Malmsteen and Ian Gillan. These guys are veterans of the scene and it shows in their mature musicianship and performances.

Check out the guys’ website, download some of the MP3 samples and check ’em out. Black Symphony have a third and final CD coming, and new material on the way from a new band with a slightly different lineup. Fans of intricate metal everywhere should check out the buzz.

Plus, it’s loogie free.

Short review:

“BiastFear brings to the table a mixture of several different genres, that some might even say shouldn’t ever be crossed. Their style, self described as “Heavy-Hop” is a unique mixture of rock, metal, hip-hop, and r&b and results in an aggressive sound that is energetic and powerful, yet flowing and melodic.” — BiastFear’s website.

Slightly longer review:

Take the overall sound of Sevendust with some R&B vocals (reminiscient of Tracy Bohnam) laid over the top, and you’ll have a general idea of what BiastFear sounds like. The Cleveland quartet’s third album, All Angels Scream, is quite the departure from the band’s earlier sound. Previously being accused of sounding too much like Fear Factory, one thing BiastFear should never have to worry about is sounding too much like anyone else.

Musically, the band is pretty tight. A large and familiar snare sound heads up the percussion section. Sevendust again comes to mind when discussing the bands guitar sound. The bass maintains a fairly clean sound and hovers between the drums and guitars, maintaining an identity of it’s own. The production on this CD is very, very good. Unfortunately, that’s not what anyone will be talking about after hearing this disc.

Of course, focus will be on the unique vocal presentation by Crystal. There’s two basic styles presented here, Crystal rapping and Crystal singing. When Crystal sings, she is very, very good. There’s no studio tricks here — she’s good. When Crystal raps, it just doesn’t sound good. Some of the songs sound like they were written to have some guy grunting or yelling over the top of them, and Crystal’s voice rapping over the top of them just doesn’t cut it. Part of it is probably the fact that her singing sounds so good, her rapping sounds mediocre in comparison.

In Throughout, My Own Enemy, Look At Me and particularly Shattered are good tracks that show off the band’s talent. The songwriting is catchy, the riffs are hummable, and the vocals are a nod back to the days when singers sang. Call me crazy, but I like it. The band cuts loose near the end of the disc with their cover of the Beastie Boys’ No Sleep Til’ Brooklyn (Cleveland), but for the most the songs hover around emotions, relationships and similar subjects.

I wouldn’t want to hear ten bands doing this style tomorrow. Taking the band at face value, they’ve done something pretty original, and at least in BiastFear’s case, it works. Worth a spin at least for the uniqueness factor.

Tracks:
01. In Throughout
02. Coming Down
03. All Angels Scream
04. Holding On
05. My Own Enemy
06. A Public Service Announcement
07. Look At Me
08. Shattered
09. Don’t You
10. Planet Skitch
11. Honest
12. No Sleep Till…
13. Bonus Track