What would you do on your last day of freedom?

This is the question Monty Brogan (played by Edward Norton) faces in The 25th Hour. After being narced out to the DEA, Monty gets busted with a kilo and is handed a seven year sentence. The movie begins the day before Monty is set to turn himself in to prison. Apparently, drug dealers are on the “low flight risk” list these days, and are allowed to wander the streets of New York between their sentencing and the start of their prison term.

Monty’s plans for his last day of freedom including making peace with his girlfriend, reconciling with his father, and attending a going away party with his two best friends (which is being thrown by the Russian drug cartel, Monty’s source of cocaine). Of course, all three of these tasks will become complicated.

First, Monty needs closure his girlfriend, Naturelle (played by Rosario Dawson). While Monty truly loves Naturelle and will miss her, she also happens to be one of a very small group who knew exactly where Monty hid his drugs — something the DEA agents knew as well. The conflict between love and hate, trust and mistrust is portrayed excellently. You can feel the on screen tension long before it is explained in the plot.

Second, Monty must set up a meeting with his father, a retired New York City firefighter and current Irish bar owner. Monty’s father James Brogan (Brian Cox) has mixed emotions about his son going to prison. In one scene, he feels guilty about not raising his son right. In another, he scolds Monty, telling him, “you could have done anything with your life, and you did this.” More hurt and guilt emerges when James discovers Monty began peddling dope to help his father pay off loans to the syndicate.

Third, Monty’s big night involves attending a going away party at a local club, owned and run by the Russian drug cartel. It is here where he meets up with his two life long buddies, Jakob Elinsky (Philip Seymour Hoffman), a rich Jewish kid turned high school English teacher, and Francis Xavier Slaughtery (Barry Pepper), a high-rolling stock broker. Naturelle is there along for the ride as well. The Russian mafia would also like to have a word with Monty, and find out exactly what the cops found out during his interrogation. Moving along a subplot, one of Jakob’s students, the sexy and tempting Ms. Mary D’Annunzio (Anna Paquin) ends up at the club with the group as well.

25th Hour’s 134 minutes are mostly made up of dialogue, without the use of action. That’s not to say the movie isn’t gripping or compelling, but there are no car chases, no explosions, no gun fights here. The drama here is in the drama. The acting is top notch. At the top of that pyramid is Edward Norton. It is important that, while we like him for the movie’s sake, we don’t like him too much. In the film’s opening scene, Monty stops on the way to a drug deal to befriend a wounded and left for dead dog. It’s moments like these where we are shown a gentler side of Monty, even though we are reminded throughout the movie that he built his empire “on the misfortunes of others.”

The supporting cast is excellent. Philip Seymour Hoffman is perfectly cast as the repressed school teacher in love with one of his students. While it’s an interesting side story line, his crush on his seventeen year old student played by Anna Paquin (Rogue!) has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot, could have been cut completely, and easily brought this movie back under the 2 hour mark. Again, the acting is phenominal, the whole love interest angle between the two of them seems, in retrospect, just something to keep his character in the movie. Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan) perfectly portrays the high rolling stock trader. He’s that arrogant, type A guy that you still hang around with because you always have.

A few times throughout the movie, writer David Benioff takes the viewers on some weird tangents. At least three times that I can remember, characters break out of the reality of the movie and launch into long monologues, that seem to be saying, “this is what I, David Benioff, have to say about this subject.” It almost seemed like Benioff had some previously written essays lying around on his desk, and just crammed them into the story wherever he could. Two of them, like Monty’s “fuck you” speech presented to himself in a bathroom mirror, and James’ “we don’t have to take you to the prison” daydream at least are somewhat tied to the plot, although they do stretch on for an uncomfortable length of time. Francis’ exposition on New Yorkers, however, felt extremely forced. It seemed like Benioff wrote some lengthy patriotic exposition (I saw “Wanted: Dead or Alive” Bin Laden posters at least three times in the movie) and jammed it into a scene where it didn’t fit at all. I get the feeling he wrote some of the dialogue on September 11th, 2001 (World Trade Center cleanup and the towers of light are featured predominantly throughout the film). The problem is, I saw the movie on January 11th, 2003. While not decades later, it distracts and detracts from the otherwise timeless basic plot.

When walking out of the theater, I had a “disjointed” feeling. I felt like, things weren’t complete. Somehow, two hours and fifteen minutes just doesn’t seem like enough time to “wrap everything up.” And I guess that carries across the theme of the film, that 24 hours isn’t really enough time to “wrap everything up” either. This film is great for viewing with friends — the conversations began the minute we got into the car.

What would you do with your last 24 hours of freedom?

Within the first five minutes of Troma’s Terror Firmer, viewers are treated to a man’s leg being ripped off (which he is subsequently beaten with), a brain-splattering suicide set to the tune of “Amazing Grace”, puke, a “de-fetusing” (a woman’s unborn child is literally taken from her the hard way), a bathroom sex scene, at least three people getting pissed on by a blind guy, and more. The unrated version of the film is 114 minutes long. You can’t even imagine what’s in store. Do the math.

Terror Firmer is, in a way, the Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back of Troma films, as the film is crammed full of characters and jokes referring to other Troma films. The Toxic Avenger is here, along with Seargent Kabukiman, references to Dolphin Boy, and more. Most of the Troma regulars appear as well, including Will Keenan, Trent Haaga, and Joe Fleishaker. Even Troma’s head honcho and Terror Firmer director Lloyd Kaufman appears in the film as himself, sort of.

Lloyd Kaufman is Larry Benjamin, a blind film director who is working on his greatest production ever — yet another Toxic Avenger sequel. Unfortunately for Benjamin, the cast and crew associated with the movie begin dying strange and extremely gory deaths, dished out by a beautiful yet mysterious woman. In the middle of all this commotion is a love triangle between special effects mad man Jerry (Trent Haaga), chivalrous boom operator Casey (Will Keenan), and innocent young Jennifer (Alyce LaTourelle).

Filming of the movie is temporarily halted when the soundman, aka the Toddster (who tells women they can suck on the Tod Rod and swallow the Tod Wad) leaves the set, taking his sound equipment with him. A few minutes later, we see the Toddster with a funnel shoved up his ass and cocaine being poured into it. Moments later we get to see the Toddster’s brains after his head is beaten open with a very violent bong attack.

And so goes the movie. Characters are introduced and killed off one by one. When people aren’t busy dying they’re usually either expousing horribly written dialogue or merely having sex.

Terror Firmer is a shotgun blast of ideas that hit the viewer so often and so quickly that you’re usually barely over the last gag before the next one hits. It’s like the writers wrote down 500 funny ideas on sticky notes, randomly pulled them out of a hat, and wrote them into the script in that order, 30 seconds apart. So many shocking ideas and images hit you throughout Terror Firmer that by the time two French guys pick up a hooker, get sick, puke all over each other and the hooker, jump the car, and land on a naked man’s head in the middle of the road causing their car to explode, somehow it seems normal.

Some of the writing is witty, but you’ll have to wade through the rest of the schlock to find it. When Casey makes a comment about some of Spielberg’s classic films, like “1941 and Hook,” I got a big laugh. Two minutes later, Casey is having “pickle sex” with Jennifer. That’s the type of movie Terror Firmer is. When it’s funny it’s funny, when it’s gross it’s gross, and when it’s disturbing (particularly near the end) it’s disturbing.

The 2 disc DVD set includes three separate commentary tracks (Director/Editors/Actors), deleted scenes, bloopers, audition footage, trailers, a 99-minute documentary on independent filmmaking, music videos, public service announcements, and lots and lots of Troma related advertising.

Terror Firmer isn’t for everyone. Hell, it’s not for 99% of the population. If the thought of someone’s daughter going mute because her mother’s head was crushed in a trample of people makes you chuckle, or you grin when a guy gets smashed between two trucks, loses both legs, and screams his dying words (“Support independent films!”), then you could be a member of that one percent of the population this film is intended for. If anything in this review sounded remotely offensive or disturbing to you, forget it.

I haven’t even mentioned the good stuff.

Like millions of other thirty-something-year-old dorks, I have fond memories of Saturday morning cartoons growing up. While many cartoons only stuck around for a season or two, the Superfriends (in one form or another) appeared once a week for almost an entire decade. One season had the superheros teaming with Marvin, Wendy and Wonder Dog (titled simply The Superfriends), while several versions of the program paired the heros with twins Zan and Jayna and their monkey, Gleek. From 1978-1980, Challenge of the Superfriends featured the largest roster of superheroes to date from the Hall of Justice up against The Legion of Doom, led by arch-villain Lex Luthor.

Similar to Scooby Doo, Hanna-Barbera got a lot of mileage out of one basic plot. In almost each of the sixteen episodes spanned across the three DVD set, the Legion of Doom plans to take over the earth, only to be foiled within 22 minutes by the Superfriends. Each superfriend has a matching nemesis (Superman has Lex Luthor, Wonder Woman has Cheetah, Aquaman has Black Mantis, etc) so there’s really no surprise as to who will be fighting one another. Each episode has a unique “twist” that separates them, but don’t expect any real cliffhangers. Of course this DVD set is more than just about the plot of Saturday morning cartoon fodder — it’s about good memories, hand-drawn animation and good consistantly triumphing over evil.

Extras within the set are disappointingly few. Only two of the set’s sixteen episodes contain commentary tracks. The third disc contains a ten-minute documentary about Saturday morning Superfriends and how they influenced some of today’s comic book creators, and an interactive roster containing every member of both the Hall of Justice and the Legion of Doom, showing each member’s strengths, enemies, and a brief action video.

As a whole the episodes are even more hokey than I remember them, with tons of strange, drawn-out dialogue and bizarre animation errors (colors changing, objects disappearing, and so on). Viewers picky about digital artifacts and dirty negatives will have a field day picking these occasionally rough transfers apart. The video’s full screen (just as the originals were) and the audio’s mono. And yet, I cannot help but enjoy them. The episodes’ goofiness reminds me simpler times. My four-year-old son watched them as intently as he watches anything put out today, and was surprised to learn that “Superman was friends with Batman”. Despite any glaring issues arising from the show’s age they’re still fun to watch, which is what Saturday morning cartoons are all about.

Episodes:

01. Wanted: The Superfriends
02. Invasion of The Fearians
03. The World’s Deadliest Game
04. The Time Trap
05. Trial of the Superfriends
06. Monolith of Evil
07. The Giants of Doom
08. Secret Orgins of the Superfriends
09. Revenge on Gorilla City
10. Swamp of the Living Dead
11. Conquerors of the Future
12. The Final Challenge
13. Fairy Tale of Doom
14. Doomsday
15. Superfriends, Rest in Peace
16. The History of Doom

[ End of Review, Beginning of Useful Information ]

Do not confuse this DVD set with any of the previously released DVDs:

Challenge of the Superfriends: Attack of the Legion of Doom contains episodes 1-4 of season one
Challenge of the Superfriends: United they Stand contains episodes 5-8 of season one
Challenge of the Superfriends: The Challenge of Doom contains episodes 9-12 of season one
Challenge of the Superfriends: Journey into Oblivion contains episodes 13-16 of season one

Challenge of the Superfriends: Season One contains all 16 of the above episodes of Challenge of the Superfriends.

Challenge of the Superfriends: Season Two is actually The Superfriends from 1978-1979, and contains the following episodes:

01. Rokan. Enemy from Space
02. The Demons of Exxor
03. Battle at the Earth’s Core
04. Sinbad and the Space Pirates
05. The Pied Piper from Space
06. Attack of the Vampire
07. The Beasts are coming
08. Terror from the Phantom Zone
09. The Anti-Matter Monster
10. World Beneath the Ice
11. Invasion of the Brain Creatures
12. The Incredible Space Circus
13. Batman. Dead or Alive
14. Battle of the Gods
15. Journey through inner space
16. The Rise and Fall of the Super Friends

Bonus. The ballad of Zan and Jayna
Bonus. Pajama-Rama Super Friends Retrospective

The following information was gleaned from the Challenge of the Superfriends site. For more information, please visit them!

The Superfriends (1973-1974)
Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Marvin, Wendy, Wonder Dog.

The All New Superfriends Hour (1977-1978)
Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Zan, Jayna, Gleek the Monkey

The Superfriends (also 1978-1979)
Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Zan, Jayna, Gleek the Monkey

Challenge of the Superfriends (1978-1979)
Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Apache Chief, Black Vulcan, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkman, and Samurai. (These are the ones where they always battled the Legion of Doom)

The World’s Greatest Superfriends (1979-1980)
Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Zan, Jayna, Gleek the Monkey

The Superfriends Hour Shorts (1980-1982)

The Lost Superfriends Episodes (1983-1984)

Superfriends: The Legendary Super Powers Show (1984-1985)

The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians (1985)

Teen sex comedy Superbad is the latest in a long line of “last night of high school” movies (see American Gigalo, Dazed and Confused American Pie and The Stoned Age). These types of films resonate with us because we can relate to them — if you went to high school you can surely still remember your own personal trials and tribulations, the struggle to fit in and the butterflies in your stomach you felt when that certain girl or boy looked at you that certain way.

Superbad tells the story of three high school seniors on their final day and night of high school. The somewhat socially challenged trio, consisting of pottymouth Seth, insecure Evan and uber-geek Fogell, have their challenge laid out before them: acquire massive amounts of booze, arrive at the party, get the girls of their dreams drunk, and score. Of course, even the best plans have a way of taking on a life of their own, and the threesome soon find themselves on one of the wildest nights of their lives.

Common themes from the genre make appearances here as well, including the parting of friends, the need for acceptance, and teenage boys’ eternal quest to get laid. While the cars, clothes, music and language have been updated, the core issues within Superbad (while hidden behind f-bombs of Southpark proportions) remain timeless.

Co-writer Seth Rogen (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, Freaks and Geeks) seems to have found a niche with his tales of underdog triumphs. If you weren’t one of the popular kids of high school, Superbad will seem familiar — and if you were one of the popular kids, perhaps you’ll get a kick out of watching what the rest of us went through.

To be quite honest, I went into Super Troopers expecting a Police Academy rip off. While probably not as good as Police Academy 4 – Citizens on Patrol (my personal favorite of the series, due to all the skateboarding), Super Troopers was a pretty funny comedy based on and about a 15 mile stretch of highway in Vermont.

The Northern Vermont Highway Patrol is having some problems. One of their problems is that their staff prefers goofing off, getting drunk/stoned and playing tricks on unsuspecting roadside victims to simply doing their jobs. Another one of their problems are the local city cops, who ignore jurisdiction laws and end up getting all the good stops along the highway. Their biggest problem is that the fifteen mile stretch of highway they both patrol isn’t big enough for the two of them, and one of their stations is going to get shut down.

Broken Lizard Productions, a comedy troupe out of NYC both wrote and starred in Super Troopers. That’s probably why much of the movie feels like a succession of skits. To top it off, much of the movie feels more like improv skits. Much of the dialogue just feels like the guys ran through the scenes a couple of times and then just filmed it. This isn’t to say the movie isn’t funny, it’s just that it feels really … thin. There’s no secretive twists to be found here, the entire plot could be written by your average Scooby Doo fan.

Then again, the selling point here isn’t the plot; it’s the comedy. Some of the jokes come off as really funny, particularly when the troopers are harassing the average citizen or vice versa. Others, like the lame jokes between the two law enforcement agencies get kind of old. The VHP have one employee (Trooper Farva) who is a classic characature of “that asshole” that we all work with — more than an asshole, he’s “that guy” that has a totally off the wall/inmature sense of humor, who laughs at his own jokes and takes everything a bit too far. From getting drunk at a press conference “just because it’s an open bar” to hiding an entire bar of soap in his partner’s cup of coffee, Farva draws in some of the film’s biggest laughs.

Most of the plot is a hard to swallow. When the troop is in danger of being shut down due to lack of tickets, the guys would rather harass passer-bys, hang out at the shooting range, and break into the evidence room to smoke all the confiscated dope. You would think that at least for the sake of their jobs, they “might” buckle down for a month or so. And likewise, most of the pranks and jokes they try and pull off are pretty on the whole, pretty lame. I spent much of the movie thinking about what I would be doing if I were a cop there instead of the crap they sat around doing.

But at the end of the night, no one will be sitting around talking about the holes in the plot. Anyone who has ever pulled someone over or been pulled over will probably get a few laughs out of this goofiness. Super Troopers is rated R for some brief nudity (both male and female), heavy drug usage and language. I would say at least half of the good chuckles were given away in the trailer — however, there’s still a few gems left in there for fans of humor and cops. And German swingers.

When most people think of Disney they think of Disneyland, Mickey Mouse, cartoons and G-Rated entertainment. The 1983 film Something Wicked This Way Comes might change your mind about all of that.

Based on the book by Ray Bradbury, in Something Wicked This Way Comes we meet Will Halloway and Jim Nightshade, two young teenagers growing up in a small Midwestern town. One night, an unusual and sinister traveling carnival led by Mr. Dark (never a good sign) rolls into town. While snooping around, Will and Jim discover some of the carnival’s darker secrets. Will and Jim try to warn the townsfolk about the dangers of the carnival, but that’s tough to do when they keep mysteriously disappearing.

I first saw this movie at the age of ten and it scared the bajeesus out of me. This time around (twenty-five years later), I found the film more disturbing than scary. Most of the people we meet throughout the film have life-long regrets — the old, ugly school teacher who was once young and beautiful, the former college football hero who has since lost an arm and a leg, and the single barber who dreams of meeting a beautiful wife — and throughout the film we learn to what lengths people would go to have those regrets corrected. Quite literally, almost everyone who attends Mr. Dark’s carnival is willing to “sell their soul” to get what they want, no matter the price.

This film works on multiple levels. If you’re approaching middle age, you’ll relate to the film’s central theme about life, aging, and regrets. That’ll fly over the head of younger kids, who will spend most of their time hiding their eyes from some of the movies scarier scenes. Don’t let the Disney masthead fool you on this one — the scene where Jim and Will are attacked by hundreds of tarantulas is enough to give anyone the heebie-jeebies.

By all accounts the book is better than the movie, but what else is new. According to the DVD’s documentary track there were disagreements between the director, the screenwriter (Bradbury) and Disney about what direction the film should go. Expensive reshoots (to the tune of five million dollars) were done over a year after the film was finished. You’ll be able to tell which scenes those were as the formerly thirteen-year-old actors will be fifteen and appear noticeably older.

For a twenty-five year old film, Something Wicked This Way Comes holds up well. Due to time restraints much of the book’s plot has been dropped, but what remains is still a thought-provoking and legitimately creepy film.

If nothing else, Snakes on a Plane deserves an award for the best movie title of all time. Not only does it hint that the movie may not take itself 100% seriously, but it’s probably the most accurately titled film of all time — this movie is about snakes on a plane.

Actually, there’s a little bit more to the film than that, but not much. After surfer dude Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) witnesses a murder in Hawaii, there’s a race to find him between crime boss Eddie Kim (who wants him dead) and FBI agent Nelville Flynn (who needs him to testify against Kim in court). Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) gets to Jones first, and coordinates transportation for the two of them back to Los Angeles as passengers on Pacific Air Flight 121. Unfortunately, Eddie Kim is tipped off, and sends a few venomous passengers of his own.

Snakes on a Plane doesn’t waste much time dealing with things that aren’t either snakes or planes. The snakes (which have been made super-aggressive thanks to the introduction of snake pheramones on the flight) are complete bad-asses. Forget preconceived notions of slugglish snakes slithering around on the floor — these athletic reptiles leap from air conditioning vents, out of toilets and strike hard enough to wiggle down people’s windpipes and penetrate their eye sockets. On the other end of the toughness spectrum we have the plane itself, which is constantly being destroyed by snakes bumping into things — at one point the captain “loses all avionics” when a snake wiggles up against a control panel. I guess they just don’t make jumbo jets like they used to; you can build a plane to withstand air turbulance, but not even engineers anticipated snakes. On a plane.

The plot actually bears a resemblance to the classic comedy Airplane! — just replace bad fish with deadly snakes and you’ll have the general idea. It just wouldn’t be an airplane thriller without flight attendants asking the people in coach quesions such as “is there a doctor on board?” and “is there anyone here who can fly a plane?” Snakes on a Plane is like a comedy with all the classic horror cliches thrown in for good measure. It’s a safe bet that anyone who removes their clothing or is unnecessarily rude will be leaving the plane with two more holes than they had prior to boarding.

Samuel L. Jackson provides a typical Samuel L. Jackson performance and Nathan Phillips isn’t given much to do, but the real stars of the movie are the snakes themselves (in all their bad-CGI glory). The hundreds of writhing reptiles show no mercy, attacking everyone within striking distance. Viewers are even treated to several snakey-POV shots — who knew snakes saw the world through green-tinted, distorted camera lenses?

Check your logic circuits at the door, keep your feet lifted up off the floor and go see Snakes on a Plane. Not since Lake Placid has reptilian horror been this much fun.

Since the end of Shrek 2, things have been going well for Shrek, Fiona, and the rest of the denizens of Far, Far Away everyone, that is, except Fionas father, King Harold. Shrek discovers that he is next in line for the position, a responsibility he is unwilling to accept. Shreks only alternative is to locate the next in line for the throne (a young King Arthur) and return him to the kingdom.

Prince Charming, however, has plans on his own. Upon learning of the Kings demise, the prince (who has been relegated to an unintentionally humorous club performer) has decided that it is his turn to be the king. Leading an angry mob of other fairy tale exiles, Prince Charming devises a plan to take over the castle in Shreks absence, seize the throne, and slay the big green ogre once and for all.

Even the most lukewarm reader may notice Shrek the Third is essentially a retread of familiar waters, a combination of the quest for a person (Shrek 1) and a battle with Prince Charming for the throne (Shrek 2). I also suspect, according to the bazillion dollars Shrek the Third took in throughout its opening weekend, that few people care about the originality of the plot and were instead dragged to theaters across the country by younger fans of Shrek and his pals. At least, thats my excuse.

Like the previous installment, Shrek the Third is filled with sight gags for kids and adults alike. There are plenty of jokes for each demographic; each cute pun intended for older audience members is followed by a burp, fart or puke joke. Also, like the previous two movies, the animation within the film is superb. Top notch. The on-screen details and motion of the characters may be the best to date. The difference between this film and some of the other 3rd party animated films my kids have forced me to suffer through is instantly noticeable.

Every major character from the first two films (from the three blind mice to the three little pigs) reappear here as well. Comic relief sidekicks Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) provide plenty of yuks throughout Shreks adventure. New characters Artie (Justin Timberlake), Merlin (Eric Idle) as well as Fionas friends Snow White (Amy Poehler), Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph), Cinderella (Amy Sedaris) and Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri) round out the film.

Shrek the Third delivers new, groundbreaking messages to kids such as, be yourself youre somebody special, and dont worry if people pick on you someday you might be a king! Theres a message there for adults too, something about growing up and accepting responsibility for your actions. Of course, these and any other messages the movie has to over will be soon drowned by the onslaught of cups, cereal and toys your kids are about to start begging for. Happy shopping.

Better than the second but not as good as the first, Shrek the Third will keep you and your kids entertained all 90 minutes long and will make both of you laugh, although rarely at the same time.

Critics everywhere have been lauding Shrek 2, calling it even better than the first. They should be; Shrek 2 appears to have been written for them and not for kids. As a 30 year old man, I thought overall it was a pretty good film — I’d say I laughed out loud at least half a dozen times, and caught at least a dozen references to random movies from the 80’s. My two and a half year old son, however, only laughed twice; once when Puss in Boots coughed up a hairball, and once when Shrek farted.

Shrek 2 picks up where the first film ended. Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz), our happily married couple from the first film, are invited back to the princess’ parents castle (in the land “Far Far Away”) to celebrate their marraige. Of course, Fiona’s parents are expecting two human beings, so when the two ogres arrive the welcome is less than warm.

Fiona’s mother the Queen (Julie Andrews) plays the part of the loving mother whose only concern is her daughter’s happiness. The King (John Cleese) however does not want ogres for in-laws or grandchildren, and sets into motion a plan that will unite Fiona with Prince Charming (Rupert Everett). To carry out his plan, the King seeks the help of Prince Charming’s mother, Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders), and the feline assassin Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas).

Throughout this 90 minute adventure you’ll see a lot of movie references and a lot of adult jokes. I can’t imagine the young Shrek demographic getting Aliens, Blazing Saddles, or Flashdance references. I’m sure the older kids in the audience laughed more than my son did. The adults laughed a few times too, but unlike the first movie it was rarely at the same time as the kids.

There were so many new characters in Shrek 2 that my son was constantly asking me, “who’s that, daddy?” Later in the movie, a few of the fairy tale creatures attempt to rescue Shrek and friends from certain doom and my son was glad to see them arrive, but their screen time is pretty small. There’s also a strange joke involving Pinnochio wearing women’s underwear that I’m glad my son didn’t get so I didn’t have to explain it to him.

In the animation department, Shrek 2 lives up to the first. In certain scenes it seemed like I was looking at real human beings. Much of Shrek 2 takes place indoors, so we don’t get as many beautifully colored outdoors scenes as the first film, but the indoor scenes are just as detailed as the outdoor ones were. I have a feeling people will be studying this movie when it comes out on DVD to find all the hidden jokes and references tucked away in the film’s backgrounds (particular when Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey first arrive in Far Far Away).

Like I said, there are plenty of little “in” jokes to keep adults happy, and I’m sure there is enough humor for the older kids as well. For my son, well, we’ve been bombarded by commercials for Shrek cereal, the Shrek 3D DVD, Shrek action figures, Shrek stuffed dolls, Shrek sountrack, Shrek games, Shrek game controller, Shrek coloring books, Shrek 2: Secret Potions Lab Playset, Shrek 2 Twisted Fairy Tale Game and the “Shrek Rotten Root Canal Play-Doh Set”. No doubt those things will tide us over for a couple of years, until the arrival of Shrek 3, which arrives in theaters in 2006.

The beginning of Shock Waves reminded me a lot of Gilligan’s Island. Oddly enough, it begins with seven people on a boat, sailing around the coast of Florida. The first twenty minutes of the film are spent introducing viewers to the group of people that it will then spend the next sixty minutes trying to kill. On board the dilapitated old ship are three crew members: kooky Captain Ben (John Carradine), drunk galley hand Dobbs (Don Stout), and first mate Keith (Luke Halpin from the television show Flipper). The four passengers include Rose (Brooke Adams) and Chuck (Fred Buch) as the younger, hipper couple, and used-car salesman Norman (Jack Davidson) and his wife Beverly (D.J. Sidney) as the older, wealthier, less-adventurous couple.

Twenty minutes into the film, everything turns yellow due to some strange occurance with the sun. Everyone runs to the ship’s deck and stares at the sky, trying to figure out why this is happening. At the same time, viewers will be scratching their head, wondering, “why is this happening?” Captain Ben pashaws the occurance as “a mirage caused by the hot air clashing with cool ocean under currents,” while Drunk Dobbs tries to soothe the passengers by telling them stories about ghost ships and deep sea monsters. Zoiks!

After the “yellowness” disappears (an effect annoyingly obtained by just slapping a yellow lense over the camera), it turns dark. Is it night or not? Hell I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure out what the hell the yellow thing was! Eventually it must have turned into night because everyone goes to bed, but not before dissention is raised. “We should take command of this ship before things get out of control,” Norman says at the dinner table. Huh? I’m confused, did he want to mutiny the ship’s crew because of of the yellow sun incident, or because it’s night?

During the middle of the night, first mate Keith steers the vessel into another ship — or wait, was it a GHOST ship?? (Creepy music here.) It’s too dark to tell what happened. In the morning when the sun comes up (yellow filter-free, fortunately), the crew discovers Keith actually high centered the boat on a reef, where they’ll be stuck until high tide comes in. In the daylight, the crew spots a nearby island. After a few trips in a rowboat, everyone is aboard the island and accounted for, except for Captain Ben, who went for a morning swim, and doesn’t come back. Well, he comes back, but he’s floating and stiff with rigor mortis. “Oh well,” everyone says, and drags him back to the island.

While searching the island, the group finds a huge abandoned hotel. Without shouting “Hello? Does anybody live here?”, the group move in and set up camp, making themselves right at home. Soon, a booming voice with a bad German accent calls out from the shadows. “Who aaaaaaare you people?” the voice says. “Hey! Why should we answer YOUR questions!,” Chuck yells back. Of course I’m thinking, “well, you just broke into some guys house and set up shop and now he’s asking what the hell you’re doing in his living room, the least you can do is tell the dude who you are!”

After a bit of cat and mouse chasing, the group finally comes face to face with the owner of the property. During a five minute bit of exposition, elusive German guy (Peter Cushing) finally explains the plot to the rest of the boobs in this film. Of course, as a viewer, the plot was explained to us in a 30 second voice over intro at the beginning of the film.

In World War II, the German army apparently developed a “killer zombie”. Not dead but not alive, these soldiers, dubbed the “Death Corps”, were trained to kill with their bare hands. This specific group of soliders worked in the water, and had an insatiable taste for violence. After the war, the commander was banished to sea (I guess because the zombies were so dangerous), so the SS commander (Cushing isn’t actually given a name, which makes this review a bit difficult) sunk his ship, swam to shore, and has lived in exile ever since.

“But now, they are awake,” he says. How they awoke, we’re not sure. Was it the darkness spell, the yellow sun effect, the hitting of the ship, the crashing on the island, or what? We don’t know, but one thing is for sure — the troops are now awake, and ready for BLOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Throughout some of these opening scenes viewers have been getting glimpses of these soldiers, but not until now do we get a good look at them. Blond hair, black suits, and black goggles give these guys a pretty creepy appearance. Plus, since they’re really undead zombies, they don’t need to breathe, so they spend most of their time underwater, only popping up to KILL KILL KILL. In their black costumes and white faces, they almost end up looking like Cenobytes from Hellraiser.

The SS turn out to be quick and quiet killing machines. But unlike Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, these guys don’t just go after the whiney characters. No, they pretty much kill everyone indescriminantly. They’re goddamn undead German Nazis and they don’t take crap from anyone.

The last half of the film turns into a chase/survival flick, which is pulled off fairly well. Neither the stranded tourists nor the viewers know exactly how many of these SS killing machines there or, or more importantly, how to kill them. Only by accident does one of the soldiers have their blackened goggles removed, which turns his face into runny oatmeal and causes him to die.

Why? Well fuck all who knows, I mean, you could really drive yourself crazy asking why at flicks like this. Like, why is it called Shock Waves??

The recently released DVD version of Shock Waves includes trailers, radio and television spots, a huge photo section, but most importantly, a commentary track with the director. Despite being a semi-low budget flick, the director has plenty so say, and some of his insight made me appreciate the film even more (like the fact that it was filmed in 35 days, and the jungle scenes were shot about 50 miles south of Miami, FL).

Ultimately, Shock Waves suffers from too long of a setup. With SS Killing Machine Zombies on the front of the box and a 30 second introduction which tells all about the zombies. I went into this movie wanting to see zombies! Instead, it’s closer to the 45 minute mark before any real action goes down. When we do finally get to see the zombies, they turn out to be pretty creepy. Basically, they’re undead soldiers trained to kill with their bare hands, and our protaganists are stuck on an island with no way to get off (they almost manage a sailboat escape, but it doesn’t work out). So there’s no “why” as to why these zombies are trying to kill people, they just are, and it’s up to the strongest to survive. Of course, since the entire movie is a flashback, you know who survives in the first two minutes of the film. Poor planning in a horror flick, baby. While the zombies in Shock Waves lack enough personality to thrust them into any sort of “movie baddie hall of fame”, Shock Waves both entertains and creeps it’s audience. What it lacks in special effects or decent dialogue it makes up for in good execution and an interesting story.