Have you ever heard a song for the first time on the radio from a band you recognized? How did you know what band it was? Vocals are always a give away, but many musicians have their own signature sound as well. I didn’t need a trivia book to know that Eddie Van Halen played the solo on Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” or that Dimebag Darrell played on Anthrax’s The Threat is Real album. Those guitarists have a unique sound and style all their own.

I think that might be part of the reason why it’s so hard for me to get into so much of the death metal that’s out there. So much of it sounds similar. It’s like there’s some huge death metal album out there that has 10,000 songs and is still growing.

Within Y’s Extended Metal Dimensions is technically perfect. It’s textbook death metal. It’s what death metal fans want to hear. And it sound exactly like At the Gates and In Flames to me. If you’re looking for music that sounds like At the Gates or In Flames, then read no futher.

Don’t fear, if you weren’t looking for music that sounds like At the Gates or In Flames, there’s not much more to read either. Within Y are some heavy, brutal mofo’s. If you’re into melodic death metal, this is your bag. The production and musicianship on Extended Metal Dimensions is as tight as anywhere else. The songs change up enough to keep the listener interested, but the path never veers far from “destroy.”

Recommended for melodic death metal fans everywhere.

If you thought William Hung’s 15 minutes of fame were painful, just wait until you hear his album.

William Hung gained notoriety by being one of the worst contestants ever on the hit television show American Idol. While the show’s judges hated him, America fell in love with Hung’s “Engrish” version of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs.” MP3 and video versions of Hung’s performance hit the web, websites went up, and William Hung replaced “The Star Wars Kid” as the official choice of nerds everywhere.

The culmination of this two month long joke comes in the form of Inspiration, Hung’s 15 track album by Koch Records.

Each song on the disc has Hung singing over the top of what appear to be MIDI versions of hit songs. At best, the musical tracks sound like bootleg flea market karaoke discs. It adds to the overall cheezy feel of the album.

The star here though is William Hung. Those who heard his performance of “She Bangs” on American Idol will be amazed to learn that it’s probably the best song on the disc. Two months of singing that song repeatedly at mall performances and frat house parties have done Hung some good. That’s not to say it’s good — it’s horrible beyond belief. But it’s the best song on the disc.

My favorite tracks of the disc were Hung’s renditions of the Eagles’ “Hotel California” and Elton John’s “Rocket Man”. Both songs sound like Hung heard them about twice before recording them. There are multiple weird word timing issues in both songs that make me think he may have heard the songs for the first time the same day he recorded them.

“Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and “Circle of Life” made me laugh as well. Hung has a desire to sing songs with big open notes that he can’t hit. Not that he can hit any of the notes, really, but the big loud open ones are more noticable I guess. When Hung opens up his voice and hits those big notes it makes you forget for a moment that he can’t speak English very well. One of my favorite tracks on the disc was “I Believe I Can Fly.” Why not? He believes he can sing already.

To try and trick listeners into thinking Hung has an ounce of talent, the producers have cranked the reverb up to 11 on most of Hung’s performances. On a few select tracks, they even had Hung double some of his vocals. Neither take lines up, so the end result is some of the tracks sound like there are two Chinese guys singing off tune instead of one.

Supporting the album title Inspiration, Hung offers some inspirational thoughts to his listeners in random tracks placed in between a few of the songs. On “Be Yourself,” Hung offers the following nugget: “It doesn’t matter if it’s children, adults, uh, maybe even seniors … All these people just like me and they like me for my real self. It’s great to be myself. And have people respect me for who I am. And I wish more people in the entertainment industry can be who they are. It makes life happier for everyone in the world.” Most of them are even goofier than that. Hung even does a piece on Perseverence. We’ll see if he’s singing that same tune a year from now.

One of the last tracks on the disc is “YMCA.” While listening to it I couldn’t help but think of the Chinese waiters in A Christmas Story — you remember, the guys who sang, “Deck da harrs wirf bowrs of horry, Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra …” Except this version goes, “Irsh fun to stay at da, Y, ERM CIR AH!”

My biggest issue about the whole album is it seems like everyone is in on the joke but Hung. American Idol knew he sucked. People know he sucks. I’m sure the record label knows he sucks. No one else is laughing with Hung; they’re all laughing at him. And yet he goes on, singing his heart out and offering little bits of wisdom like some sort of Confuscious Idol. It’s a little hard to enjoy the joke when you feel like the target doesn’t “get it.”

I really wanted to end this review with something stating the fact that Hung’s 15 minutes of fame are finally over, but it appears I’ll have to wait. MTV is reporting that Hung’s album sales are soaring. Many record chains cannot keep the disc in stock, and it may end up being the highest selling debut album of the week and possibly of the year so far.

I’m starting to believe he can fly, too.

I was just a little kid when my grandpa died. I remember the preacher calling him “Robert,” his first name, throughout the funeral. I had never heard anyone ever call him Robert before that day, and haven’t since — his middle name was Patrick, and everybody knew my grandpa simply as “Pat”. Of course, the people in the church didn’t know him as Pat. In fact, I’m sure they didn’t know him at all. It had been years since he had stepped foot in a church. It’s a tough lesson to learn as a kid that death is a business. People show up, call you “Robert”, take a few thousand bucks from your insurance company, and head right back out the door they walked in.

Rob Zombie, who has proven that he can single-handedly delay every project he touches (see The Crow and House of 1000 Corpses) has somehow managed to finally get We’re A Happy Family – A Tribute To The Ramones, his homage to Joey Ramone, assembled and released. (The oldest reference I could find to the album is this June 2002 MTV News article which says the album is expected to hit stores in August of 2002.) Thank God they finally got it released, in the length of time this album took to hit shelves, another Ramone (Dee Dee) died as well. Put this thing off any longer and the others are likely to kick the bucket as well.

Alas, Joey and Dee Dee are probably the lucky two, as they’ll never have to hear this compilation. Most of the bands here appear to have dropped by, dedicated a cover tune to “Robert,” and headed out along their merry way, collecting their cash on the way out the door.

The Ramones were all about the basics. Basic instruments, basic chords, basic recordings, basic everything. Like frugal chefs, the Ramones could take chords from someone else’s song and turn it into an album’s worth of material. How ironic it is that bloated stadium rock bands like Metallica and Marilyn Manson ended up on a tribute to a punk band who was all about the basics.

Leading the charge is Rob Zombie’s interpretation of the “Blitzkrieg Bop,” a classic punk sing-a-long theme that’s been turned into a nu metal crunch and shoutfest. Cute. No, that’s not Dee Dee and Joey moshing, they’re rolling over in the graves, folks.

The biggest offenders are bands like Marilyn Manson, who turned “The KKK Took My Baby Away” into a drum machine-led violin catastrophe. Thank goodness there’s a few songs between that and The Pretenders’ “Something to Believe In,” or I might have fallen asleep right then.

Then you’ve got the “punk” section of the disc. Green Day, performing “Outsider,” manages to keep a little of the Ramones spirit while still not losing their identities in someone else’s song. Rancid’s version of “Sheena is a Punk Rocker” is almost unrecognizable; the Offspring’s “I Wanna Be Sedated,” on the other hand, is so close to the original it hurts. Eddie Vedder, singing with Zeke, kicks in two songs for the disc. There are so many other songs that suck on this disc, that “I Believe in Miracles” and “Daytime Delemma” escape my wrath simply by not sucking as much as other parts of the album.

Metallica’s “53rd and 3rd” and U2’s “Beat on the Brat” are also loyal, almost to a fault, to the originals. At least they sound like one take, dirty productions, something the Ramones would have enjoyed. Except, of course, that I’m sure both of those bands earned more money for their contributions than the Ramones made during their career. Garbage’s “I Just Wanna Have Something To Do” and KISS’ “Rock N’ Roll Radio” have more production on them than many Ramones albums. I couldn’t tell if it was a tribute to the times, or just yet another example of “not getting it.”

Tom Waits’ “Return of Jacky and Judy” is the grittiest song on the disc, and the only one with any feeling.

In fact, other than Waits, Metallica, and a few of the punk bands, I begin to wonder if these bands ever heard the Ramones, or were just along for the ride (or a buck). An over-produced mega-million dollar song on a Ramones tribute stands out worse than a white guy at the million man march.

What’s worse is, there’s nothing on this disc that I like better than the Ramones versions. Save your money and pick up All The Stuff and More (Volume 1 or 2), Ramones Mania (Volume 1 or 2), or any of the other various greatest hits packages out there. None are hard to find, and all pack more Ramones attitude into their little pinkies than this tribute.

All this disc made me do was wanna sniff some glue.

Tracks:
01. Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Havana Affair
02. Rob Zombie – Blitzkrieg Bop
03. Eddie Vedder Zeke – I Believe Miracles
04. Metallica – 53rd And 3rd
05. U2 – Beat On The Brat
06. Kiss – Do You Remember Rock’n’roll Radio
07. Marilyn Manson – The KKK Took My Baby Away
08. Garbage – I Just Wanna Have Something To Do
09. Green Day – Outsider
10. The Pretenders – Something To Believe In
11. Rancid – Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
12. Peter Yorn – I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
13. The Offspring – I Wanna Be Sedated
14. Rooney – Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
15. Tom Waits – Return Of Jacky & Judy
16. Eddie Vedder Zeke – Daytime Dilemma (Dangers Of Love)

I was ten years old and in fifth grade when I got my first Weird Al album. When songs like Eat It and Like a Surgeon began flooding both radio airwaves and MTV, I rushed down to the local record store and spent my allowance on the Eat It single, and picked up Als second album, Dare To Be Stupid, shortly after. Who knew that twenty-three years later I would be buying yet another new Weird Al album? Except this time, my four-year-old son went with me.

The King of Musical Parodies is back once again with Straight Outta Lynwood, Als twelfth studio album. Like all of Als albums, the music on Straight Outta Lynwood can be broken down into one of four categories. While most famous for his song parodies, Al also performs both original songs and style parodies, which are original songs recorded in the style of another band. Each Weird Al album also contains a polka medley, which contains accordion-led versions of popular radio songs. On Straight Outta Lynwood, Al sticks to his familiar formula and delivers a few tracks from each category, including the aforementioned polka medley.

Style parodies on the disc include Ill Sue Ya, a song that mocks frivolous lawsuits in the style of Rage Against the Machine, and Pancreas, a loving homage to Als apparently favorite internal organ, done in a vintage Beach Boys style. Other original tracks include Virus Alert, a hilarious song about computer viruses (and the e-mail messages people forward to you warning you of their impending arrival) and Close But No Cigar, another silly tale about Als romantic woes.

The heart of Weird Als career has always been his parodies, and Straight Outta Lynwood contains five new ones. In Als twisted world, Green Days American Idiot becomes Canadian Idiot, Chamillionaires Ridin is White and Nerdy, Ushers Confessions Part II becomes Confessions Part III, R. Kellys Trapped in the Closet is Trapped in the Drive Thru, and American Idol winner Taylor Hicks Do I Make You Proud becomes Do I Creep You Out.

Like many Weird Al fans my age, I got into Als music because of his parodies and while Ive aged, the weird one apparently has not. One flaw I found with the disc (or maybe its with me?) is that the songs parodied are all quite contemporary and are no-doubt popular in the age group I was in when I first discovered Als weirdness (young teenager) which basically means I was unfamiliar with most of them. I cant imagine the stereotypical Weird Al fan being big fans of R. Kelly, Chamillionaire or Usher. While most of the parodies are able to stand on their own, I had the feeling while listening to several of them that they might have been funnier had I been more familiar with the original source material. It seems like on Als earlier albums, he picked more timeless songs to parody. I cant imagine anyone knowing who Chamillionaire is in another twenty-three years.

Still, this doesnt keep Als comedy from shining through. The funniest (and maybe most poignant) track on the disc may be Dont Download This Song, a song reminiscent of We are the World that covers the ongoing battle between recording artists and music pirates. Anyone who simply downloads this disc will be missing out on a lot of lot of awesome extras. Straight Outta Lynwood includes dozens of extras on the disc as a reward for those who purchase the CD, including six new music videos from the album, a 5.1 surround sound mix, instrumental versions of all twelve songs (with optional lyrical pop-ups for Weird Al Karaoke Night!), and a nine-minute documentary. These are all included without raising the price of the CD talk about a bargain!

Oddly enough, two of the parodies (Do I Creep You Out and White & Nerdy) were added to the album after Atlantic Records (boo, hiss) request that Al not include You’re Pitiful, a parody of James Blunt’s popular song You’re Beautiful. Instead of including the song, Al posted it on his website as a free download instead. Don’t mess with Al, pal. With a new album hitting stores September 26th (which is also Weasel Stomping Day) and his short-lived television series just arriving on DVD, Weird Al is introducing himself to an entire new generation of future Al fans. And who knows twenty years from now, maybe my son, my grandson and I will all take a trip together to the local record store (if such things exist then) to pick up yet another new Weird Al album.

01. White & Nerdy
02. Pancreas
03. Canadian Idiot
04. Ill Sue Ya
05. Polkarama!
06. Virus Alert
07. Confessions Part III
08. Weasel Stomping Day
09. Close But No Cigar
10. Do I Creep You Out
11. Trapped In The Drive-Thru
12. Dont Download This Song

(Included Videos)

01. Dont Download This Song
02. Ill Sue Ya
03. Virus Alert
04. Close But No Cigar
05. Pancreas
06. Weasel Stomping Day

On August 6th, 2003, Weird Al played to a sold out crowd in Oklahoma City’s own Bricktown Event Center. The demographcs of that crowd could basically be split down the middle into two even groups. One group consisted of kids, ages ten to thirteen, around the same age that I myself was I was when I first discovered Al’s weirdness. The other half of the crowd was made up of guys like me, people in their late 20’s/early 30’s, who discovered Al early in our adolescent years and never let go.

When Weird Al took the stage, it became clear that we weren’t the only ones who haven’t grown up. With his accordian blazing as loudly as his Hawaiian shirt, Al wasted no time kicking the night off with “Angry White Boy Polka,” a double-time polka happy medly of recent radio hits including songs by Papa Roach, System Of A Down, The Vines, The Hives, The White Stripes, The Strokes, Disturbed, Rage Against The Machine, Limp Bizkit, Staind, Kid Rock, P.O.D. and Eminem.

From that moment on, the stage was set for a wild night of music, accompanied by videos which were projected onto a huge screen behind the performers. While occasionally videos ran behind the band while they were performing, more often they were used to give the band members a few moments between songs to change costumes but keep the momentum rolling. Videos shown included clips from several of Weird Al’s “Al TV” MTV specials as well as several clips from Weird Al’s movie “UHF” (which was filmed in Tulsa, OK).

Weird Al’s twenty year catalog of comedy classics were all fair game during the show. Al played at least one song from each of his eleven studio albums, spanning from 1983’s “My Bologna” (a parody of the Knack’s “My Sharona”) to several songs from 2003’s Poodle Hat, including “Party at the Leper Colony”, “Wanna B Yr Lovr”, “Ode To A Superhero” (a parody of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”), “Ebay” (a parody of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way”), “A Complicated Song” (a parody of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated”), “Trash Day” (a parody of Nelly’s “Hot in Here”), and “Couch Potato” (a parody of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”).

Many of those songs included costume changes, not only for Al but the entire band as well. At different times throughout the night, Al took the stage as an overweight Michael Jackson (for “Fat”), a regular-sized Michael Jackson (for “Eat It”), Kurt Cobain from Nirvana (for “Smells Like Nirvana”), Eminem (for “Couch Potato”), Nelly (for “Trash Day”), and even as a pizza delivery boy for his Titanic-theme parody “Free Delivery” (a song which has not appeared on any of Al’s albums).

Weird Al was not the only chameleon on stage Wednesday night. Al’s band, consisting of guitarist Jim West, bassist Steve Jay, drummer Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, and Ruben Valtierra on keyboards, showed their versitility by changing musical styles between every song, switching from rock to rap to ballads on a moment’s notice. The band covered songs from the 80’s to today all night long without missing a beat.

After playing 26 songs in over two hours, Weird Al left the stage, only to return for a short encore. The encore consisted of two Star Wars related parodies, “The Saga Begins”, sung to the tune of Don McLean’s “American Pie”, and “Yoda”, Al’s 1985 tribute to the little green Jedi master, a parody of “Lola” by the Kinks. As was the case with most of the songs throughout the night, Al and his entire band took the stage in Star Wars-esque robes. During the middle of “Yoda”, Al and the band stopped to perform “The Yoda Chant” (a two minute long silly chant) before swinging back into the grand finale.

In a world of Southpark and Gangsta Rap, it’s nice to see that a silly guy with a few costumes and some funny lyrics can still make kids and adults alike laugh.

Set List:
01. Angry White Boy Polka (polka-medly of current songs, from Poodle Hat)
02. Party at the Leper Colony (original song, from Poodle Hat)
03. Your Horoscope For Today (original song, from Running With Scissors)
04. A Complicated Song (parody of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated”, from Poodle Hat)
05. Melanie (original song, from Even Worse)
06. One More Minute (original song, from Dare to be Stupid)
07. Dog Eat Dog (original song, from Polka Party)
08. It’s All About The Pentiums (parody of Puff Daddy’s “It’s All About the Benjamins”, from Running with Scissors)
09. Wanna B Ur Lovr (original song, from Poodle Hat)
10. Trash Day (parody of Nelly’s “Hot In Here”, from Poodle Hat)
11. Beverly Hillbillies (parody of Dire Strait’s “Money For Nothing”, from the UHF Soundtrack)
12. Jerry Springer (parody of Barenaked Ladies “One Week”, from Running with Scissors)
13. Jurassic Park (parody of “Macarthur Park”, from Alapalooza)
14. Free Delivery (parody of the Titanic theme, unreleased track)
15. eBay (parody of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way”, from Poodle Hat)
16. Theme From Rocky XIII (parody of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”, from “Weird Al” Yankovic in 3-D)
17. Ode To A Superhero (parody of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”, from Poodle Hat)
18. Lasagna (parody of Los Lobo’s “La Bamba”, from Even Worse)
19. Pretty Fly For A Rabbi (parody of the Offspring’s “Pretty Fly for a White Guy”, from Running with Scissors)
20. My Bologna (parody of the Knack’s “My Sharona”, from “Weird Al” Yankovic)
21. Gump (parody of Presidents of the United States’ “Lump”, from Bad Hair Day)
22. Eat It (parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”, from “Weird Al” Yankovic in 3-D)
23. Smells Like Nirvana (parody of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, from Off the Deep End)
24. Amish Paradise (parody of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise”, from Bad Hair Day)
25. Couch Potato (parody of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”, from Poodle Hat)
26. Fat (parody of Michael Jackson’s “Bad”, from Even Worse)
(encore)
27. The Saga begins (parody of Don McLean’s “American Pie”, from Running with Scissors)
28. Yoda (parody of the Kinks’ “Lola”, from Dare to be Stupid)

Sherman, set the way back machine for the late 80’s – we’re goin’ back.

Back to a time when “singing” ruled the land. Back to a time where black leather, hair spray, and eye liner wasn’t just for chicks. Back to a time when flannel is what you would put on BEFORE a concert, not during.

Blackie Lawless, Chris Holmes, and the rest of the gang are back with a new W.A.S.P. album, 20 years after their debut album was released.

For those who aren’t up on their 80’s metal history, lead singer Blackie Lawless was best known for his flamethrowing codpiece, having tons of blood and guts on stage every night, and copying (yet pushing the limits) on just about everything Alice Cooper ever did. Chris Holmes, lead guitarist of the clan, is known for almost drinking himself to death (cool in Rock and Roll land), but losing Lita Ford due to his alcoholism (not cool in anyone’s book).

I had a lot of initial reservations about this disc. Usually, fire on the cover of an album is a bad sign. Bullet holes, burn holes, or whatever you want to call them (photoshop effects) are also a bad sign. Combine that with the old font from Headbanger’s Ball and a band that I haven’t thought about in over a decade, and I was pretty scared of this disc.

Once I got the CD in my player, I was plesantly surprised. This is straight up rock and roll, and I like it.

Most of the songs on Unholy Terror revolve around social, political, and religious topics. The front of the CD booklet contains a two page letter explaining Blackie’s religious stance. The middle of the booklet contains the lyrics, with little side comments and notations, so that you, the dumb listener, won’t miss a single one of his obscure references. The last two pages wrap up the booklet with a catalog, offering everything from W.A.S.P. hats, to shirts, to jerseys, to autographed guitars and gold records. Daddy need some money.

The musical style is comparible to any 80’s Alice Cooper, LA Guns, Whitesnake, or yes, W.A.S.P. If you like old school rock and roll, you’ll certainly dig this CD. Holmes hasn’t lost a step when it comes to lead guitar, and the rest of the band does a great job of backing them up.

While W.A.S.P. has matured over the years, with songs like “Euphoria” and “Ravenheart” replacing more shocking ditties like the classic “Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)”, the fuel and the fire are still there. While Unholy Terror may not be remembered for generations to come, you could certainly do worse when it comes to good old fashioned rock. No guest appearances, no rapping, no growling, and no samples. An enjoyable rock album from a classic band.

Tracks:
01. Let It Roar
02. Hate To Love Me
03. Loco Motive Man
04. UnHoly Terror
05. Charisma
06. Who Slayed Baby Jane
07. Euphoria
08. Raven Heart
09. Evermore
10. Wasted White Boys

Prior to seventh grade, like many kids my age, the vast majority of my musical tastes came directly from pop radio. Smack dab in the middle of 1980s, my American idols were Huey Lewis, Duran Duran, Michael Jackson and Madonna. When I reached seventh grade, my elementary classmates and I were lumped in with half a dozen other schools, forming one giant middle school melting pot. Suddenly, I was introduced to several new cliques including stoners, punks, and a group I tried to fit in with for a while, the skaters.

Louis wasn’t much of a skater, but then again, neither was I. The two of us met in science class, and quickly discovered that we both liked skateboarding. Louis lived in the trailer park a mile or so down the road from my neighborhood, so after school the two of us often got together and practiced our wobbily skate maneuvers on the sloped curbs just outside his home. Louis knew a couple of other skaters, two girls, who lived just down the street from him. Gail and Red would occasionally come down and watch Louis and I practice. Sometimes Gail would bring her boom box so that we would have music to skate to. Usually, she played the Violent Femmes.

Combining equal parts of folk and punk rock, the Violent Femmes self-titled album debuted quietly on the music scene in 1982. Despite being credited as the first “folk punk” album and essentially setting the groundwork for the ’80s wave of “alternative rock” which began a few years later, it took over ten years for the Femmes’ debut album to go platinum.

Violent Femmes (the album) explodes out of the gate with “Blister in the Sun,” one of the strongest and catchiest tunes on the disc (which, incidently, is currently being used to hawk Wendy’s Hamburgers). Throughout Blister’s two and a half minute running time, the album’s parameters are set: first-person lyrics set to aggressive acoustic guitars, creating powerful poppy/punky song structures with singable choruses.

Song subjects will seem familiar to anyone who spent a day in high school. The Femmes cover the highs and lows of love and life in great detail, with attitudes changing as quickly as those of teenagers themselves. From the defiance in “Kiss Off” to the depression of “Confessions,” the self-loathing of “Ugly” and the elation of “Good Feeling,” the entire spectrum of teens and the emotional conflicts they experience are expressed.

The longevity of the album can no doubt be attributed to the timelessness of the subjects it encompasses. Who hasn’t told a girl they can kiss off, only to later beg them to please, please not go. Feeling loved, feeling alienated, feeling accepted, feeling dejected … everything all of us experienced is here. In twenty-five years the Femmes have released eight studio albums. Their first was their best.

01. Blister in the Sun
02. Kiss Off
03. Please Do Not Go
04. Add It Up
05. Confessions
06. Prove My Love
07. Promise
08. To the Kill
09. Gone Daddy Gone
10. Good Feeling
11. Ugly (CD Bonus Track)
12. Gimme the Car (CD Bonus Track)

If all I knew about Two Minutes Hate came from their website, I would never have picked up this disc. Describing themselves as “your typical punk band” and citing bands like Bad Religion, Pennywise and Green Day as influences, I can honestly say I doubt I probably wouldn’t have given this CD, well, two minutes.

Fortunately for both the band and myself, Two Minutes Hate has done a particularly awful job of describing their sound via the web. Despite the band’s persistant claims of being “punk”, their sound is much closer to east coast hardcore (not surprisingly, the band is based in Baltimore). Maybe the band evolved faster than the website?

Sometimes Minor Threat, sometimes D.R.I., sometimes M.O.D., sometimes Biohazard, always aggressive, Strong and On contains twelve rapid fire tracks. Faster than Bad Religion and dirtier than Green Day, tracks range in style from the typical sing-along punk anthem (“American Blue”) to the thrash-inspired chunkfest (“Strong and On”). “Stomp of Approval”, the disc’s last track, reminded me of old Sick Of It All. “Two Minutes Hate” is a fairly accurate monniker; while the band’s two “epics” clock in at 3:30, a few of the tracks like “Fallguy” and “Perserverance” never reach the 90 second mark.

Recording quality is dirty, messy … and perfect for this kind of music. It’s the kind of production that gives bands street cred over record deals. It wouldn’t be hard to pick the album apart technically — some of the songs are mixed louder than others, and the guitar tone and level changes significantly on a few songs; however, I have a feeling Two Minutes Hate could give a shit about that. The focus here is on the energy and the attitude, something that does shine through and rises above any recording or technical difficulties.

Strong and On is what it is — twelve thrash influenced punk and hardcore tracks, averaging two minutes in length. While not particularly innovative (the album would have easily fit into the mid-80’s thrash/hardcore scene), Two Minutes Hate’s does everything right. What the band lacks in originality, they more than make up for with aggression and energy. Those looking for a nice throwback to the classic days of punk and hardcore should check this disc out. Oi!

Tracks:
01. Perseverance
02. American Blue
03. Strong and On
04. I See with Spirit
05. Harvest Rapture
06. Little Nathan
07. Beg to Differ
08. Mindlock
09. Fallguy
10. Separate Lives
11. Studs
12. Stomp of Approval

Tribute albums are a dime a dozen these days. They all have the same goal: get the names of lesser known bands out to music fans by covering songs of a better known band. It stands to reason then that all these albums have the same fault as well; none of the bands on these albums are as good as the bands they are covering. Everytime I skim the track listing of these tribute discs I always ask the same question — who ARE these people? These discs do nothing but make me want to listen to the original versions of the songs.

Leave it to me to want something original. A Tribute To ABBA by Nuclear Blast is just that — metal bands covering ABBA tunes. At least they solved the problem with me wanting to listen to the original versions.

I personally bought a guitar after hearing Motley Crue and Metallica. I can’t imagine anyone out there, especially musicians from established bands, publicly state that ABBA made them want to do ANYTHING music related, except jab drumsticks in their ears perhaps. And yet, the product is exactly as advertised — fourteen power metal bands taking a stab at some of ABBA’s “greatest” hits.

Sinergy’s “Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!” is probably the most entertaining song on the disc. Listening to the guys beg repeatedly for “a man after midnight” never gets old. Other songs you may know include Rough Silk’s industrial version of “Take a Chance On Me” and Glow’s punkish interpretation of “Dancing Queen”. I can’t really say that I know any of the other songs.

The biggest problem here is that fans of any of these bands are probably not fans of ABBA, and vice versa — and you have to guess, neither are these bands. I’m sure it’s a rough day in any band’s career when they agree to appear on an ABBA tribute album. Maybe I’m wrong and there’s a whole movement of headbangers out there who are also closet ABBA fans, but sorry guys; I’m not one of them. If mixing power metal and ABBA sounds like a fun Saturday night then this was specially made just for you.

Tracks
01. Summer Night City — Therion
02. Thank You For The Music — Metalium
03. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! — Sinergy
04. Money, Money, Money — At Vance
05. Voulez-Vous — Morgana Lefay
06. S.O.S. — Paradox
07. Take A Chance On Me — Rough Silk
08. Chiquitita — Spiral Tower
09. Eagle — Sargant Fury
10. One Of Us — Flowing Tears
11. Waterloo — Nation
12. Super Trouper — Custard
13. Knowing Me, Knowing You — Tad Morose
14. Dancing Queen — Glow

“Open up your mind. Open up your soul.”

So begins “Vader”, the opening track on Totimoshi’s third album, Monoli. Having enjoyed both of Totimoshi’s previous albums and the trio’s live show, I was both excited to hear the band had a new album coming out, and worried that they would not be able to maintain the energy level of their two previous albums. My fears were for naught. Monoli rocks.

Describing the band’s sound is like painting a train wreck in motion. I was all ready to rehash my Melvins and Sonic Youth comparisons, but as fast as I can write them, the band changes. While “Vader” could easily be a Melvins tribute, “The Pigs are Schemin” wraps itself around a heavily disguised rockabilly riff, while “Fancy Pants” reeks of Nirvana’s Bleach era and “You Know” reminded me of Beck. The only thing constant about Totimoshi is that they’re constantly changing — not only between albums and between songs, but throughout each song as well.

What makes Totimoshi so enjoyable is that you never know what’s coming next. The slow, bass-driven “Light Lay Frowning” kicks into a heavy ass “stop-and-go” chorus of guitars, only to be followed by a Latino-sounding solo. Unlike pop songs that you can sing along with the first time you hear them, Totimosho more resembles a haunted house. There are builds that go nowhere, riffs that pop out of the darkness, and that excitement you can feel in your heart of never quite knowing what lies around the next corner.

Everything about Monoli makes this the best of the band’s three albums. The band has obviously matured as musicans — the most noticable of which is Antonio Aguilar’s guitarwork and vocals. The band’s songwriting skills have improved as well. Totimoshi has mastered what always eluded the Melvins, a sense of continuity in their songs. The finishing touch on all this goodness is the near perfect production. The band manages to be remain thick without sounding muddy, a tough trick to pull off. The dynamics are captured beautifully here, especially in songs like “The Skies over Monolith Mountain”, where the grittiest guitar riff competes for aural space with a clean guitar attack.

Totimoshi is so fucking heavy they make me want to punch my mom in the face. They’re that good, I don’t know what else to say. Just like when Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan, I think Totimoshi has surpassed all the bands they refer to as influences. Now they are the master. It makes me cry to know people listen to Limp Bizkit instead of this.

Interesting. Evil. Heavy. Creative. Genius.

Totimoshi.

Tracks:
01. Vader
02. The Pigs are Schemin’
03. Fancy Pants
04. Light Lay Frowning
05. The Hero Released from Fright
06. Make Your Day
07. The Skies Over Monolith Mountain
08. Possum
09. You Know