Various Artists – We Wish You A Hairy Christmas

This CD had me saying “Ho Ho Ho” from the very beginning — and not just because of the three ho’s found in the CD artwork. We Wish You A Hariy Christmas is the perfect holiday gift for that mullet wearing, Camaro driving man in your life.

We Wish You A Hariy Christmas sports a sticker on the front which reads, “80’s Metal Rules!” and “Contains Absolutely No Nu-Metal”. True to its words, this holiday disc from Koch contains eleven Christmas hits performed by some of the greatest hair bands of the 80’s.

Several of the songs are Christmas classics, like Warrant’s version of “Father Christmas” and Gilby Clarke’s rendition of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Other tracks, like Danger Danger’s “Naughty Naughty Christmas” and Pretty Boy Floyd’s “Happy Family” were songs I’d never heard before.

And in fact, I believe most of these songs were recorded specifically for this compilation. While “Naughty Naughty Christmas” found its way to The Santa Claus 2 soundtrack, I don’t think I’ve heard any of these versions before. And that’s a cool deal — nothing sucks more than buying a compilation album only to find that you’ve already heard half the tracks on other albums.

The only bone I had to pick with this album was with the liner notes. While Koch does give us the band, website, lineup and studio information for each song recorded, they don’t tell us when they were recorded, or who did the original versions.

Still, that doesn’t take away from this fun holiday album. Ten of the eleven tracks are old school rockers, with only Faster Pussycat’s version of “Silent Night” ending up as some techno-drum machine nightmare. Everything else here sounds like it could have appeared on the first season of the Headbanger’s Ball — just what the elves ordered.

We Wish You A Hariy Christmas is a perfect stocking stuffer for the dude in your life who still uses Aqua-Net, or the chick you know who just hasn’t let go of those ankle-high pointy black boots. Should work good as the soundtrack for your late night egg-nog drinking parties, or just as background music while your little headbangers open presents.

01. Father Christmas (Warrant)
02. Naughty Naughty Xmas (Danger Danger)
03. Happy Holiday (Enuff Z’Nuff)
04. Run Run Rudolph (LA Guns)
05. Everyday Should Be Like Christmas (Bullet Boys)
06. Jingle Bell Rock (Tuff)
07. Won’t Be Home for Xmas (Every Mother’s Nightmare)
08. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (Clarke, Gilby)
09. Happy Family (Pretty Boy Floyd)
10. Santa’s Back in Town (Roxx Gang)
11. Silent Night (Faster Pussycat)

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