Review-o-Matic (and I assume the thousands of other websites like it) gets review submissions from all over the world, literally. Last week, a CD showed up in my mailbox. The return receipt was marked Italy. Inside the envelope was a mini CD with a hand drawn cover and the words “Ovo” and “Kknall” on it. Through the wonders of Google I was able to determine that this apparently came from an Italian label named “Bar La Muerte”, and is a 3 song split between the bands Ovo and KK Nall. Ovo described themselves as “improv noise freak travellers” on the label’s website, last updated in February of 2003.
I’m not sure who did which song and what is what on this three song split, but it really doesn’t matter. I’ve received a few other CDs from “Bar La Muerte” in the past and despite being based in Italy, this label has managed to circumvent all language barriers by releasing what equates to noise in any country.
Track number one sounds like someone hooked a microphone up to an Atari and took a piss on it. Honestly — the whole thing just sounds like computer equipment malfunctioning. It reminded me of when R2-D2 got shot by the Jawas in Star Wars, but less musical. At two minutes into the track it sounds like someone got the high score because things start going wild and for a minute I thought I was going to have to insert another quarter to continue.
Track two contains a drum sample that is so distorted you might think that your speakers are broken — and hey, don’t blame me if they are AFTER listening to this. Or maybe they’re not broken, maybe they committed suicide. Lucky them. This track sounds like someone learning to use a synthesiser for the first time and just turned the distortion up to 10 and turned on every single option at once.
Track three must be by the other band, because instead of annoying keyboards, this time we get annoying guitars. This “song” consists of two riffs that sound like someone just grabbed the neck of a guitar with their entire fist and strummed as fast as they could for a minute or two, and ends with a slower riff that is repeated for a minute and a half. The whole thing sounds like it was recorded from the room next to wherever the band was performing.
If you are a fax machine or a modem then you might like listening to the first band. If you like bands that sound like 12-year-olds with more distortion than talent, you might like the second. I didn’t like either.