I recently watched part of VH1’s “One Hit Wonders of the 1980’s” series. Alongside each video on the countdown they also presented a quick bio of the song and the artist. 99% of them started the same way. “Rocker X became huge after his video received MTV airplay …” In the early 80’s, that was THE method of becomming huge. You made a video, or you went nowhere. The 21st century version of that story involves the internet. In a few years, all the big bands on television will be saying, “we became huge after we were discovered on mp3.com/farmclub.com/garageband.com/whatever else is out there.” I know this, because every band’s bio now mentions how big they are/were on www.mp3.com, www.farmclub.com, or www.garageband.com.
Twenty second history lesson — Lollipop Lust Kill released a three song EP in ’97, won a local battle of the bands in ’98, were discovered in ’99 on mp3.com, self-released a full-length debut album in ’00, discovered by Artemis Records via AntiMTV.com, and has now released their second album (their first national release) entitled My So Called Knife. Cut to present, fade in.
For some reason, I had imagined Lollipop Lust Kill would sound like My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult — despite the fact that they only share the word “Kill” between the two bands. In retrospect, I suppose that could also mean the band might have also sounded like Killing Joke, Bikini Kill, Ghostface Killah, Masta Killa, Killer Dwarves, Dry Kill Logic, Gravity Kills, Killswitch Engage, Overkill, or even Kill Allen Wrench. But, they don’t sound like any of those people. Jesus Christ I’ve got to cut back on the coffee.
LLK (who changed their name from “The Candy Killers” because “it didn’t roll off the tongue well”) are on tour right now with Coal Chamber and American Head Charge, and I’m sure they fit in great there, kind of like a big muscle head hard rock sammich with mustard and lettuce and tomato and a slice of Lollipop Lust Kill in the middle. And white bread. Fuck all these places who try and give you wheat bread, wheat bread is so ghey, and double fuck these places who make tomato bread and jalapeno bread and cheese bread and whatever kind of friggin’ bread they’re trying to pass off on sandwiches these days. Fuckin’ bullshit man. WHITE BREAD, Wonderbread and Rainbo have it down pat, call them up if you don’t know how to do it right. Sheesh. (On my second cup of coffee now.)
So where was I? Oh yeah. Lollipop Lust Kill. Their second album, My So Called Knife, rocks pretty hard. Not in a Meshuggah kind of way, but in a “hey we’re almost Pantera but have keyboards” kind of way. Maybe not Pantera, but … Disturbed, or heavy Staind, or Union Underground, or … uh, I dunno, some heavy stuff that still sounds poppish. The vocals go all over the map, covering whispering, singing and screaming regularly. The guitars are perfect. The bass is perfect. Come to think of it, everything’s perfect. A little “too” perfect. It’s almost formula rock. It’s heavy, it’s got songs about murder and sex and creepy guys … and it’s been nicely packaged and placed on a shelf at a store near you.
When I sat down to write this review I couldn’t decide if I liked this album or not — I guess my true feelings just kind of crept out. There’s nothing bad about this album, in fact it’s very good, very melodic, very professional, very nu … and very polished. I’d like the chance to see them live and see if they can back this up with some sweat.
Final note: this band and coffee do not mix. I’m ready to kill.
02. Black All Over
03. Like a Disease
05. Knee Deep in the Dead
06. Everything I
07. Sad Excuse for a Grip
08. Perfect Woman
09. Bury You
10. Personal Jesus
11. Can’t Get Away
12. Kill Greedy